There's more to this life than just me...
I had another birthday earlier this month, made it to 57. The years don't mean much anymore. You are only as old as you feel...or something like that. I want to be 30-something again...I think. Anyway, getting closer to another anniversary to this blog. Neuropathy isn't any better, pretty discouraging. But like I titled today's entry, "There's more to this life than just me..." Lost a friend earlier this month to cancer. We met him and his wife just one time in Roseville, CA a few years back when Tommy was finishing up his church missionary work. We shared a meal and some stories about Tommy growing up. They only knew the smart young missionary that came into their home. When we left they knew a little bit more about him. It was a couple years later we read the news that Larry had cancer and the prognosis was not good. But he endured, and his sweetheart helped him along his journey. It was sad to hear he was gone. I never had it as bad as he did, for that I am grateful, but I thought about him everyday since he was diagnosed and everyday since I was able to finish my chemo.
Went to my General Physician last month for my first physical. Hurrah, everything looked good to him. Cholesterol numbers are coming down. He looked at the biopsy from last spring and was confident as well that it was nothing to worry about. (Easy for the Drs to say, isn't it?) He switched my medication to cope with the neuropathy. It was a big change getting used to it, but I think I'm settled into it now.
Grandson Mason is growing up!! Started walking...showing off!! Not only did he find his toes before me, he walks better than his old grandpa!
Two weeks ago, my life took another turn. This time it had absolutely nothing to do with me or my health. My best buddy, Max (my dog)started to have difficulty seeing the treats we were giving him. He used to be good at catching ice cubes and crunching them up. But all of a sudden he would just let the ice cube hit the ground and he would be looking all over for it. We took him to the vet and was diagnosed with glaucoma! In both eyes and in fact his left eye was already blind. We had emergency surgery to save his right eye, but we lost the left one. I think he has limited vision in the right eye.
Now we have a ritual, twice a day....he gets to sit in the big easy chair (once TABOO for dogs!!) while I put 6 different eye drops in his good eye. At first we had to muzzle him because he didn't like us being around his face so much. But now that he knows what I am doing, he lays down and patiently waits as I put one drop in, wait 5 minutes, put the next drop in, wait 5 more minutes, until all six drops are in. Can you imagine a child sitting still for 30 minutes, no complaints? That's Max. I think about Max all day long. I had to make the decision to remove the blind eye and put in the glass prosthetic eye. I wondered if he was upset with me. Anyway, this is what I meant by titling this "there's more to this life than just me..." Max needs me, for now. He will recover from the surgery, but he will go blind, eventually. There is no stopping glaucoma. I spend my time with him making him as comfortable and loved as I can.
Takes my mind off of my numb toes and aching feet. I get through these days looking forward to taking care of Max.
Monday, October 15, 2012
Saturday, August 4, 2012
One Year Post Chemo
Saturday - August 4, 2012
Whew....one year...well, almost. It is Mason's 1 year birthday (my sweet grandson!!) today. My last treatment was August 7 2011. It seems like a lifetime ago. I honestly don't remember much about last year and what I do remember, I don't remember very clearly. My great friend Lynn called it 'chemo brain'. Friends, it is a real side effect!! What I think really happens is that half my brain is consumed with worrying about every ache or pain as being somehow related to the cancer, despite the fact that my doctor gave me a clean bill of health earlier this year. It doesn't help that I still have terrible neuropathy in my feet and legs. Its like sitting cross-legged on the floor and your foot falls asleep? Then you try to get up and walk and your foot and leg tingle...but eventually you get the feeling back. Well, the feeling doesn't come back for me. I never really gave it much thought how much you depend on your feet to stand. Well, I mean stand in a stable manner. Getting out of the shower with wet numb feet....well let's say I've hit the tiles on my behind several times. Glad I didn't hit my head and have to have my family find me spread out on the floor in the old birthday suit!!! Not a pleasant vision, sorry.
Let's take life one day at a time and not make such a big deal about the little stuff. We are all imperfect...that's what makes us who we are. Appreciate what you do have and give your kids an extra hug every once in a while. They'll look at you strangely, but that doesn't matter. You know why you did it. More again when I can remember what to write!!
Whew....one year...well, almost. It is Mason's 1 year birthday (my sweet grandson!!) today. My last treatment was August 7 2011. It seems like a lifetime ago. I honestly don't remember much about last year and what I do remember, I don't remember very clearly. My great friend Lynn called it 'chemo brain'. Friends, it is a real side effect!! What I think really happens is that half my brain is consumed with worrying about every ache or pain as being somehow related to the cancer, despite the fact that my doctor gave me a clean bill of health earlier this year. It doesn't help that I still have terrible neuropathy in my feet and legs. Its like sitting cross-legged on the floor and your foot falls asleep? Then you try to get up and walk and your foot and leg tingle...but eventually you get the feeling back. Well, the feeling doesn't come back for me. I never really gave it much thought how much you depend on your feet to stand. Well, I mean stand in a stable manner. Getting out of the shower with wet numb feet....well let's say I've hit the tiles on my behind several times. Glad I didn't hit my head and have to have my family find me spread out on the floor in the old birthday suit!!! Not a pleasant vision, sorry.
Let's take life one day at a time and not make such a big deal about the little stuff. We are all imperfect...that's what makes us who we are. Appreciate what you do have and give your kids an extra hug every once in a while. They'll look at you strangely, but that doesn't matter. You know why you did it. More again when I can remember what to write!!
Monday, June 25, 2012
Monday - June 25, 2012 - A Sigh of Relief Today
In my last posting, I told you I had a chest x-ray and CT scan done as a routine event. The CT scan showed a very small spot on the top of my liver. Great...what now? It wasn't there before my surgery and after 6 months of chemo....how could this happen? Doc wanted me to get a PET Scan to take a more detailed look. Did that....yep, something's there, but the Doc still has nothing definitive and suggests I have the spot biopsied to know once and for all.
Friday, June 15 - Well, today I went in for the procedure...not too excited at all about someone sticking a needle into me to extract a piece of my liver. A liver I've had all my life...one that I have grown very attached to....all of it. I was not so sure I wanted to give up even a sliver of my liver (hmmm...that rhymes doesn't it?) Anyway, the day arrived and the radiologist comes in and says "Wow, it's pretty small...its on the top of your liver right by your diaphragm. I sure don't want to puncture your lung." Well, I have to say I was right there with him on that one!! So this was a CT guided biopsy, which means he would position the biopsy needle with the help of a CT scanner. After looking at my PET scan a bit more he decided, what the heck, let's go for it!! Not really, he didn't say that, he said he was confident he had enough room in there to be safe. It would have been scary if he DID say "what the heck, let's go for it!"
So we wheel into the exam room and slip into the CT scanner. The nurse asks how I'm doing. Great I say...she says "here's a little something to make it easier". Hmmm...I don't feel anything....she says "no? How about now? Is the ceiling crawling like an alligator?" I don't know if it looked like an alligator, but it sure was dancing around!!! Demorol, the magic potion. So I'm laying there, the Doc is doing something around my rib cage, I guess, then I feel him sort of push hard. Says "okay, let's take some pictures." He uses the CT scanner to 'guide' the placement of the biopsy needle. So he pokes it in, takes a picture, looks at the picture, comes out, adjusts the needle, takes another picture....you get the drift. He finally comes out and says, "okay let's biopsy this. Hold your breath...CLACK...he pulls a plastic-like trigger. Hold your breath....CLACK....one more....CLACK. Okay, relax. He comes back out, pokes again, then hard push. More pictures, more looks, then CLACK....CLACK. Okay, you did great. How do you feel? You're all done. Good job.
And that...is a biopsy. Not too bad...with my good friend Demorol. Back in recovery, the nurse shows me a little glass jar with five little 'threads'. The biopsied liver tissue. Now we wait for the pathologist to read the samples and report to Dr. Baltz.
Monday, June 25 - The longest week goes by...an even longer weekend...time to see Dr. Baltz. They call my name...I go back and they take my weight...no change, darn it! Baltz walks by, pats me on the shoulder and says "Hey, it was negative! Go into the office and let's talk." NEGATIVE. Not cancer! Halleluah! Just a fatty liver. Not the best news, but treatable and normal life ahead. So, there you have it. Another PET scan in 6 months! Looking forward to spending time with my grandchildren!!
Your life is never the same when you are faced with life altering health issues. I am just grateful for my family and friends. Its never too late to clean up your life and eat smart and live a few days longer. I'll blog again with any updates. Take care all.
In my last posting, I told you I had a chest x-ray and CT scan done as a routine event. The CT scan showed a very small spot on the top of my liver. Great...what now? It wasn't there before my surgery and after 6 months of chemo....how could this happen? Doc wanted me to get a PET Scan to take a more detailed look. Did that....yep, something's there, but the Doc still has nothing definitive and suggests I have the spot biopsied to know once and for all.
Friday, June 15 - Well, today I went in for the procedure...not too excited at all about someone sticking a needle into me to extract a piece of my liver. A liver I've had all my life...one that I have grown very attached to....all of it. I was not so sure I wanted to give up even a sliver of my liver (hmmm...that rhymes doesn't it?) Anyway, the day arrived and the radiologist comes in and says "Wow, it's pretty small...its on the top of your liver right by your diaphragm. I sure don't want to puncture your lung." Well, I have to say I was right there with him on that one!! So this was a CT guided biopsy, which means he would position the biopsy needle with the help of a CT scanner. After looking at my PET scan a bit more he decided, what the heck, let's go for it!! Not really, he didn't say that, he said he was confident he had enough room in there to be safe. It would have been scary if he DID say "what the heck, let's go for it!"
So we wheel into the exam room and slip into the CT scanner. The nurse asks how I'm doing. Great I say...she says "here's a little something to make it easier". Hmmm...I don't feel anything....she says "no? How about now? Is the ceiling crawling like an alligator?" I don't know if it looked like an alligator, but it sure was dancing around!!! Demorol, the magic potion. So I'm laying there, the Doc is doing something around my rib cage, I guess, then I feel him sort of push hard. Says "okay, let's take some pictures." He uses the CT scanner to 'guide' the placement of the biopsy needle. So he pokes it in, takes a picture, looks at the picture, comes out, adjusts the needle, takes another picture....you get the drift. He finally comes out and says, "okay let's biopsy this. Hold your breath...CLACK...he pulls a plastic-like trigger. Hold your breath....CLACK....one more....CLACK. Okay, relax. He comes back out, pokes again, then hard push. More pictures, more looks, then CLACK....CLACK. Okay, you did great. How do you feel? You're all done. Good job.
And that...is a biopsy. Not too bad...with my good friend Demorol. Back in recovery, the nurse shows me a little glass jar with five little 'threads'. The biopsied liver tissue. Now we wait for the pathologist to read the samples and report to Dr. Baltz.
Monday, June 25 - The longest week goes by...an even longer weekend...time to see Dr. Baltz. They call my name...I go back and they take my weight...no change, darn it! Baltz walks by, pats me on the shoulder and says "Hey, it was negative! Go into the office and let's talk." NEGATIVE. Not cancer! Halleluah! Just a fatty liver. Not the best news, but treatable and normal life ahead. So, there you have it. Another PET scan in 6 months! Looking forward to spending time with my grandchildren!!
Your life is never the same when you are faced with life altering health issues. I am just grateful for my family and friends. Its never too late to clean up your life and eat smart and live a few days longer. I'll blog again with any updates. Take care all.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Sunday - May 27, 2012 Nine Months Post Chemo
Sunday - May 27, 2012 Fast approaching nine months post chemo. This week I finally went in for my follow up chest x-ray and CT Scan. Dr. Balz wanted me to get these for the medical files. Funny how everything past the initial diagnosis makes you paranoid that every ache and pain is something worse than it might be. I've had a pain in my shoulder for the longest time. Gets worse as I sit at my desk at work at the computer. I am sure its all ergonomics. But my paranoia says its cancer. Bone cancer. Breast cancer. Something bad. Depression keeps creeping in as the neuropathy in my feet continues. Each day I wake up hoping this is the day that the pain will subside and the feeling will come back to my toes.
My travel schedule has increased since my co-worker was diagnosed with his cancer over the Christmas Holidays. He's on his final treatment and the Dr says things are looking good. He may have to do some radiation therapy afterwards. Everyone has challenges in this life, but you just have to take them head on if you can. The best post chemo therapy I have had has been the birth of our first grandson, Mason. Its wonderful how a little spirit comes into your life and gives you a new meaning for fighting on. I have a lot of plans with that little guy and the children that will come after him.
Travelling again this week. Another one of those cross country trips...DC on Tuesday and Wednesday, then on to Puerto Rico on Thursday, home on Sunday. I love to travel...hate to have to run through airports. When I get back its follow up appointments with Balz and Newton. Hope everything continues going well and my x-ray and CT are clear. I'll update with any news. Happy Memorial Day.
My travel schedule has increased since my co-worker was diagnosed with his cancer over the Christmas Holidays. He's on his final treatment and the Dr says things are looking good. He may have to do some radiation therapy afterwards. Everyone has challenges in this life, but you just have to take them head on if you can. The best post chemo therapy I have had has been the birth of our first grandson, Mason. Its wonderful how a little spirit comes into your life and gives you a new meaning for fighting on. I have a lot of plans with that little guy and the children that will come after him.
Travelling again this week. Another one of those cross country trips...DC on Tuesday and Wednesday, then on to Puerto Rico on Thursday, home on Sunday. I love to travel...hate to have to run through airports. When I get back its follow up appointments with Balz and Newton. Hope everything continues going well and my x-ray and CT are clear. I'll update with any news. Happy Memorial Day.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Thursday - December 15, 2011 "All right Mr. DeMille. I'm ready for my close-up."
December 15, 2011 - Four months post-chemo.
Okay, about four months and a week or so, but who's counting? Had my big photo shoot today!! Wow. Spent all yesterday afternoon and evening 'prepping' for my appointment with the 'little' camera. I wanted to look my best so I went on a strict light diet about 5 days ago, way earlier than they suggest, but I thought 'hey, I put on a few pounds from Thanksgiving and our trip to Seattle, it can't hurt!!' So I started Saturday and by Wednesday afternoon...I....was....HUNGRY!!! Every commercial was about food it seemed like. I was watching some of the Christmas stories on TV with Santa and his reindeer, and I was thinking, 'I wonder what reindeer steaks would taste like??' Scott is home from his missionary service and trying to get back into the swing of life, stopped by Chipotle yesterday and brought a burrito home....right at the height of my 'all liquids diet'. Kids...gotta love 'em!!
Got up early today, showered, shaved, and made sure my hair was combed just right. Even though the doctor and his camera were going to be situated...eh hem...a bit further south. Anyway, enough with this. My 'procedure' was a 100% success! Dr. Newton, my gastro surgeon who did my resection last year said everything 'up there' looked great. I am sure he was also bragging about HIS stitchery, but that's okay. He said he saw nothing new developing so I was good to go!!
I have truly been blessed through this part of the ordeal. I feel great and looking forward to a great new year. All the kids and the new grandson will be here for Christmas, first time in 2 years. My 81 year old mom, and my brother and some of his family are coming over from San Antonio. What a great time of year.
My thoughts and prayers are for the many others struggling with cancer, from our good friend to those we don't know. This has been an eye opener for me. As I have said before, priorities in my life are changed now. I concentrate on the more important aspects of my life....my family and my friends. I still love my job, and I am SUPER PSYCHED about my Puerto Rico Project, but I won't let those overshadow the importance my family is to me.
I hope to continue on this healthful path and will contribute my thoughts here along the way. Thank you my friends. If you read this blog, you are my friend. Thank you. Happy Holidays.
Okay, about four months and a week or so, but who's counting? Had my big photo shoot today!! Wow. Spent all yesterday afternoon and evening 'prepping' for my appointment with the 'little' camera. I wanted to look my best so I went on a strict light diet about 5 days ago, way earlier than they suggest, but I thought 'hey, I put on a few pounds from Thanksgiving and our trip to Seattle, it can't hurt!!' So I started Saturday and by Wednesday afternoon...I....was....HUNGRY!!! Every commercial was about food it seemed like. I was watching some of the Christmas stories on TV with Santa and his reindeer, and I was thinking, 'I wonder what reindeer steaks would taste like??' Scott is home from his missionary service and trying to get back into the swing of life, stopped by Chipotle yesterday and brought a burrito home....right at the height of my 'all liquids diet'. Kids...gotta love 'em!!
Got up early today, showered, shaved, and made sure my hair was combed just right. Even though the doctor and his camera were going to be situated...eh hem...a bit further south. Anyway, enough with this. My 'procedure' was a 100% success! Dr. Newton, my gastro surgeon who did my resection last year said everything 'up there' looked great. I am sure he was also bragging about HIS stitchery, but that's okay. He said he saw nothing new developing so I was good to go!!
I have truly been blessed through this part of the ordeal. I feel great and looking forward to a great new year. All the kids and the new grandson will be here for Christmas, first time in 2 years. My 81 year old mom, and my brother and some of his family are coming over from San Antonio. What a great time of year.
My thoughts and prayers are for the many others struggling with cancer, from our good friend to those we don't know. This has been an eye opener for me. As I have said before, priorities in my life are changed now. I concentrate on the more important aspects of my life....my family and my friends. I still love my job, and I am SUPER PSYCHED about my Puerto Rico Project, but I won't let those overshadow the importance my family is to me.
I hope to continue on this healthful path and will contribute my thoughts here along the way. Thank you my friends. If you read this blog, you are my friend. Thank you. Happy Holidays.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011 - Three Months Post Chemo
Friday, October 28, 2011 -- Well, nearly 3 mos post-chemo....another week and it will be 3 mos, but who's counting? Neuropathy is still a problem...but I think getting better. Fingers are coming along fine. Feet....well that's another story. I think my little grandson will find his toes before I do....sigh, the circle of life. Speaking of the little guy...he's getting big! But then again one would expect that!!
Had my three month check up with Onco and gastro surgeon. It's good to finish a Dr's checkup with him saying 'well, you look great! See you in another 3 months!!' I am truly blessed to have the recovery I have had and the continued improving health. My surgeon said the incisions look great....overall great....so when do you want to do the colonoscopy? I said "great...." Hard to imagine, but I am actually NOT nervous and looking forward to great results. I know what to expect now, as far as the prep work, drinking that lovely kool-aid....then the lovely after affects...very refreshing. I'll start my clear liquids diet really early. Maybe I'll lose some of the extra pounds that have come back after my treatments. Twenty pounds by December 6!!!
Had a couple visits to an accupressurist (sp?) this month. Interesting. Great massage. Not sure about the 'energy flow' out my finger tips and toes. But keeping an open mind.....great massage....mmmmmmmm.I'm gonna look into yoga maybe...tai chi...something.
The neuropathy works on your mind as much as it does affecting your feet and hands. Some days you think you are going to go out of your mind. I park in the handicap spot at work. It's very nice not having to walk long distances. Its difficult to explain to your co-workers coming in. They don't understand how 'sore feet' can warrant a handicap placard. Believe me, if I didn't need it I would park at the farthest end of the parking garage and walk in. Okay, not really. I would like to NOT have neuropathy for sure, but even if it went away tomorrow I'd still park as close as possible. I'm honest!
Hmmm....11:45 pm. the neurontin is kicking in...I'll blog again after the 'scope and let everybody know 'what's up my ......"
Had my three month check up with Onco and gastro surgeon. It's good to finish a Dr's checkup with him saying 'well, you look great! See you in another 3 months!!' I am truly blessed to have the recovery I have had and the continued improving health. My surgeon said the incisions look great....overall great....so when do you want to do the colonoscopy? I said "great...." Hard to imagine, but I am actually NOT nervous and looking forward to great results. I know what to expect now, as far as the prep work, drinking that lovely kool-aid....then the lovely after affects...very refreshing. I'll start my clear liquids diet really early. Maybe I'll lose some of the extra pounds that have come back after my treatments. Twenty pounds by December 6!!!
Had a couple visits to an accupressurist (sp?) this month. Interesting. Great massage. Not sure about the 'energy flow' out my finger tips and toes. But keeping an open mind.....great massage....mmmmmmmm.I'm gonna look into yoga maybe...tai chi...something.
The neuropathy works on your mind as much as it does affecting your feet and hands. Some days you think you are going to go out of your mind. I park in the handicap spot at work. It's very nice not having to walk long distances. Its difficult to explain to your co-workers coming in. They don't understand how 'sore feet' can warrant a handicap placard. Believe me, if I didn't need it I would park at the farthest end of the parking garage and walk in. Okay, not really. I would like to NOT have neuropathy for sure, but even if it went away tomorrow I'd still park as close as possible. I'm honest!
Hmmm....11:45 pm. the neurontin is kicking in...I'll blog again after the 'scope and let everybody know 'what's up my ......"
Friday, October 7, 2011
October 7, 2011 Two months Post Chemo
Friday, October 7, 2011 - Well, two months have past since ending chemo. About 3 weeks since they removed the porta-cath. Scar is looking good, still sore sometimes. My birthday was this week. This one I guess meant more to me than some of the others....for a couple reasons. One, I guess the obvious, I made it through chemo therapy...two, I have a new grandson. So it has been a pretty good birthday. Oh yeah, last month I was able to see Scott in Washington. That made my whole year. I sat down and talked to him about the cancer and the treatments and how I was doing now and how I was looking forward to him coming home in December and maybe consider going back to school in January here in Texas.....hmmm....nah, I want to go back to Virginia. So much for the love of a child.....ha ha. Really though we are excited for him to go where he will do the best.
Neuropathy is really kicking my behind. My hands/fingers are getting better (not 100%) but my feet are really not any better that I can tell. I have been going to an accupressure person (I guess that's what you call them). Press here....rub here....POUND on my back....rub my neck...walk on my feet and legs....VERY relaxing....I do feel great afterwards....not my feet...but everywhere else. Learned some breathing exercises (she teaches yoga too) to relax. So all in all, not so bad. I am waiting for the day that I wake up in the morning, put my feet on the floor and voila!!! I can feel the carpet with my toes!!!! Not yet though. Take my neurontin at night and it helps... When I was coming home from Alaska last month I sat next to an accuPUNCTURIST (as opposed to an accuPRESSURE person). I talk to him about the neuropathy and he told me how he would treat it. He was attending a conference of accupuncturists in Houston and said if he could identify a good one near where I lived he would get in touch. Haven't heard from him....I'll stick with my accupressure person.
I have started walking on my treadmill at least a mile a day, trying to work off the weight I put back on after chemo. A little tough with numb feet, but I am determined. I want to lose 20 lbs by the time we go to Seattle to pick up Scott. I can do it (if Katherine will stop bringing chocolate cake home!!)
I got a message from a friend in California diagnosed with colon cancer last year as well, although much more serious than mine. So serious, my ordeal pales next to his. I heard from his wife that he is doing so much better, back to 'normal'....post chemo, I don't remember what normal is. Just so happy he is doing better. Steve Jobs died this week. He was 56. I just turned 56.......makes you think....but he had such a sense about his own mortality that was refreshing....he said:
"If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.' It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?'" And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."
I am no where near the genius Jobs was. But his words inspired me. I will live each day as it was my last, someday it will be. In my work and with my family, I will do my best for them. And for my friends, I will treat with the utmost respect for I want to be remembered as a good friend. I plan on being around for another 30+ years and I want to live those years the best I can. Hopefully the feeling will come back to my toes before the end!!!!
Thanks for reading. I'll keep writing for a bit longer. Take care.
Neuropathy is really kicking my behind. My hands/fingers are getting better (not 100%) but my feet are really not any better that I can tell. I have been going to an accupressure person (I guess that's what you call them). Press here....rub here....POUND on my back....rub my neck...walk on my feet and legs....VERY relaxing....I do feel great afterwards....not my feet...but everywhere else. Learned some breathing exercises (she teaches yoga too) to relax. So all in all, not so bad. I am waiting for the day that I wake up in the morning, put my feet on the floor and voila!!! I can feel the carpet with my toes!!!! Not yet though. Take my neurontin at night and it helps... When I was coming home from Alaska last month I sat next to an accuPUNCTURIST (as opposed to an accuPRESSURE person). I talk to him about the neuropathy and he told me how he would treat it. He was attending a conference of accupuncturists in Houston and said if he could identify a good one near where I lived he would get in touch. Haven't heard from him....I'll stick with my accupressure person.
I have started walking on my treadmill at least a mile a day, trying to work off the weight I put back on after chemo. A little tough with numb feet, but I am determined. I want to lose 20 lbs by the time we go to Seattle to pick up Scott. I can do it (if Katherine will stop bringing chocolate cake home!!)
I got a message from a friend in California diagnosed with colon cancer last year as well, although much more serious than mine. So serious, my ordeal pales next to his. I heard from his wife that he is doing so much better, back to 'normal'....post chemo, I don't remember what normal is. Just so happy he is doing better. Steve Jobs died this week. He was 56. I just turned 56.......makes you think....but he had such a sense about his own mortality that was refreshing....he said:
"If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.' It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?'" And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."
I am no where near the genius Jobs was. But his words inspired me. I will live each day as it was my last, someday it will be. In my work and with my family, I will do my best for them. And for my friends, I will treat with the utmost respect for I want to be remembered as a good friend. I plan on being around for another 30+ years and I want to live those years the best I can. Hopefully the feeling will come back to my toes before the end!!!!
Thanks for reading. I'll keep writing for a bit longer. Take care.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)