I won't even try to describe Saturday in detail except to say I'm glad that day is over. I felt better in one sense in that I was so exhausted on Friday, I slept nearly 10 hours that night and awoke better rested on Saturday. And with that observation, I end the positive points of Saturday. All day and into the evening I sailed on that boat that just rocked to the left, then rocked to the right, took a swell up, then took the swell down, back to the left, over to the right....whoa, I need to stop or I'll get nauseous again. That's how it was the whole day. I forced myself to eat throughout the day even though the thought of food was unappealing. I have learned, and confirmed by a very 'Wise' friend, that the days are worse on an empty stomach. If you aren't throwing up....EAT, you need the energy!!!! Torture....there's new ice cream in the freezer....I can't eat cold food yet!
Sunday, 6:00 am - Morning....what is today going to be like? So far so good. Joints aren't aching. Stomach is settled. Maybe, just maybe, I've made it through the rough part of the weekend? I hope so.
9:00 am - Fixed Donna a little breakfast. She did a fantastic job on dinner last night. She made little mini-meat loaf patties that hit the spot. Small enough that I could eat one and be satisfied and not overeat, which I would have definitely done if she had made a regular loaf-size dinner. Perfect.
6:00 pm - Sort of a long day...knees ached some, energy low, but Tylenol helped. Went to church today and saw friends for a little while. Trying to avoid crowds in case I catch something. I think I am getting a pretty good picture of how the sessions are going to go, but I did experience a little bout of depression that I need to continually fight off.
8:00 pm - Well, winding down. All in all not a bad day. I'll try to hit the hay a little early tonight, I'm tired. Round 2 is done I'm glad to say, looking forward to the 'off week', build up my energy. I'm smarter now and know I have to keep working hard every week as I prepare for the next Round. Before I know it, my 'buddy' will be back....whirrr-click.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
March 25 - End of Round 2
Thursday was uneventful, just dealing with the day-to-day with my 'tag along' again....whirrr-click! Just running out of gas earlier than expected. Hungry, but you know how it is when you don't know exactly what you are hungry for or what you CAN eat?
9:00 am - Well, dropped off my 'buddy' for another week and a half. Round 2 was a little more challenging than the first round, but I think it was more that I started out tired than the cumulative affects of the treatments. But I don't know that for sure. As I said on the Wednesday post, the side effects seemed to come on sooner this time. Sensitivity to cold was more pronounced this time, couldn't wash my hands with cold water....ouch; cold drinks made my throat feel 'funky', and I have a really severe pain in the jaw when I first try to eat. It goes away quickly, but my head feels like its going to explode until it does! Ugh. I have figured out I can control the pain by taking small bites of food. I looked it up....Oxiplaitin has this side affect. Great.
9:05 am Unleashed now, glad I came in early. Got the Neulasta shot, not looking forward to those side affects this weekend, but hopefully I'm better prepared.
Fatigue hasn't been a real problem yet, I guess I am just overall tired. As I walked into the Dr's office this morning to get unleashed from my 'buddy', my pace was slow, I looked up at the office building and sighed abit. Every two weeks....back here....again. Six months....I can do it. Whirrr-click!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
March 23, 2011 - Round 2 Begins
I don't know if it was apprehension over knowing I would be having a treatment today or not, but last night was a long one. I was nauseous before going to bed and did not fall asleep until 2 am, then up at 5:15 to get Katherine off to school (side note, Katherine got contacts yesterday, she was thrilled. She is such a beautiful young lady!!).
9:00 am - I was the first one in the clinic this morning. Pretty quiet. Wendy came in and prepped my Port-Cath for connection. During Round 1, the Port was made ready-to-use during the surgery. Today she would have to start it with a fresh 'stick'... she said "Take a deep breath!" and then she stuck me. I figured out why they say to take a deep breath....its hard to say OUCH while you hold your breath. Sneaky, but it wasn't too bad.
Same routine, same drugs. First hour or so, the anti-nausea drugs then the Oxiplaitin (sp) for the last 2 hours. I noticed though, this time, some of the side effects that happened the next day during Round 1 began before I finished....a new one too...my tongue became numb and I felt like Tweety Bird ("I tawt I taw a putty tat") very strange. Food tastes a little different sooner too. Hands have become cold sensitive nearly immediately, and this time even to washing my hands with cold water. Strange....but I'll just use warm water. Problem solved....My feet are tingley sensitive to cold as I walked barefoot across the cold tile floors....wear slippers.
Also different from Round 1, I was not comfortable today with going from the clinic back to the office, so I worked from home this afternoon. I intend to be in the office all day tomorrow.
Oh yeah, I forgot to acknowledge the return of my little "buddy". He is sitting next to me now, rhythmically whirring and clicking every 30 secs. Thelma Lou, our 18 pound Ragdoll Cat is facinated by the noisy little black fanny bag. I have to get my routine going again with my little tagalong.
Despite these minor differences to Round 1, I am optimistically looking at a good Round 2. New faces in the clinic today....I think one new woman, and 4 'veterans' of this war. I tried to participate in some of the conversations but I was so tired from so little sleep last night I actually dozed for about 30 minutes I think...though it was probably only 3 minutes...it felt good. I've noticed from just these two visits, and probably will see it in the next 10, nobody sitting in that room with me are complainers of their situation. They're not bitter and they're not "sicker" than you. They are all very pleasant, nice people. People with a common thread running between us. We are doing everything we can to spend as much time here on earth as possible.`
7:30 pm - well, got some rest this afternoon and feel better. Still very cold sensitive on my hands and feet. One other discomfort that during Round 1 I thought was attributable to some recent dental work I had, I experienced this afternoon. Right at the jaw 'hinge', like a major cramping or spasm, like eating a very sour lemon. Googled it and they said Oxiplaitin can cause that. It only happens with the first bite of food, and then it goes away. Another check box to check - Check.
10:23 pm - Trying to go to sleep....after taking a 3 hour nap today...gonna be tough. So the end of Day 1 of Round 2....Overall, not bad, I have learned alot from Round 1 and know what to look for, what to do and not to do. I am getting more of a sense that I can do this, and with moderation and wisdom, do the other stuff I need to get done. But I have also noticed that if you are having a really good day, relative to what you are going through, some think you are having a 'normal' really good day don't understand the difference. And what I am coming to learn is you just have to say NO, sorry, I can't do that today. And taking a nap is not a bad thing sometimes. Rather enjoyable as a matter of fact.
Called my Mom today, she wanted to know how I was doing and how the treatment went today. She said she couldn't help worrying about her two boys, no matter how old we get, we're still her babies. Hoping I can get her and my brother out this summer for a trip to Old San Juan PR. That will be a fun trip.
10:38 pm - Whirrr - click! Gentle reminder that he's still here, awake, and doing his job. Thanks 'buddy', I do appreciate you. I expect a quiet night.
9:00 am - I was the first one in the clinic this morning. Pretty quiet. Wendy came in and prepped my Port-Cath for connection. During Round 1, the Port was made ready-to-use during the surgery. Today she would have to start it with a fresh 'stick'... she said "Take a deep breath!" and then she stuck me. I figured out why they say to take a deep breath....its hard to say OUCH while you hold your breath. Sneaky, but it wasn't too bad.
Same routine, same drugs. First hour or so, the anti-nausea drugs then the Oxiplaitin (sp) for the last 2 hours. I noticed though, this time, some of the side effects that happened the next day during Round 1 began before I finished....a new one too...my tongue became numb and I felt like Tweety Bird ("I tawt I taw a putty tat") very strange. Food tastes a little different sooner too. Hands have become cold sensitive nearly immediately, and this time even to washing my hands with cold water. Strange....but I'll just use warm water. Problem solved....My feet are tingley sensitive to cold as I walked barefoot across the cold tile floors....wear slippers.
Also different from Round 1, I was not comfortable today with going from the clinic back to the office, so I worked from home this afternoon. I intend to be in the office all day tomorrow.
Oh yeah, I forgot to acknowledge the return of my little "buddy". He is sitting next to me now, rhythmically whirring and clicking every 30 secs. Thelma Lou, our 18 pound Ragdoll Cat is facinated by the noisy little black fanny bag. I have to get my routine going again with my little tagalong.
Despite these minor differences to Round 1, I am optimistically looking at a good Round 2. New faces in the clinic today....I think one new woman, and 4 'veterans' of this war. I tried to participate in some of the conversations but I was so tired from so little sleep last night I actually dozed for about 30 minutes I think...though it was probably only 3 minutes...it felt good. I've noticed from just these two visits, and probably will see it in the next 10, nobody sitting in that room with me are complainers of their situation. They're not bitter and they're not "sicker" than you. They are all very pleasant, nice people. People with a common thread running between us. We are doing everything we can to spend as much time here on earth as possible.`
7:30 pm - well, got some rest this afternoon and feel better. Still very cold sensitive on my hands and feet. One other discomfort that during Round 1 I thought was attributable to some recent dental work I had, I experienced this afternoon. Right at the jaw 'hinge', like a major cramping or spasm, like eating a very sour lemon. Googled it and they said Oxiplaitin can cause that. It only happens with the first bite of food, and then it goes away. Another check box to check - Check.
10:23 pm - Trying to go to sleep....after taking a 3 hour nap today...gonna be tough. So the end of Day 1 of Round 2....Overall, not bad, I have learned alot from Round 1 and know what to look for, what to do and not to do. I am getting more of a sense that I can do this, and with moderation and wisdom, do the other stuff I need to get done. But I have also noticed that if you are having a really good day, relative to what you are going through, some think you are having a 'normal' really good day don't understand the difference. And what I am coming to learn is you just have to say NO, sorry, I can't do that today. And taking a nap is not a bad thing sometimes. Rather enjoyable as a matter of fact.
Called my Mom today, she wanted to know how I was doing and how the treatment went today. She said she couldn't help worrying about her two boys, no matter how old we get, we're still her babies. Hoping I can get her and my brother out this summer for a trip to Old San Juan PR. That will be a fun trip.
10:38 pm - Whirrr - click! Gentle reminder that he's still here, awake, and doing his job. Thanks 'buddy', I do appreciate you. I expect a quiet night.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
March 20, 2011 - Getting Ready for Round 2
Well, a good "off-week" all in all. But in the words of Han Solo to Luke Skywalker..."don't get cocky, kid". I have been very fortunate to have had a good first session of chemo. Many of my friends who have gone through this told me to savor the good feelings. Porta-cath, or whatever you call it, healing up, bruising going away. Still feels creepy under the skin.
One thing I did discover this week is that even though I feel great and have a good appetite, I can't eat the way I did before starting the treatments. Note to self: "Two Chicago-style hot dogs and a double order of Tater Tots from Sonic for lunch is probably one hot dog and a half-order of Tots too many for now - Check". That combination made for a very miserable evening. But then again, the miserable evening may not have had anything to do with the chemo, but just a poor lunch selection! (but it was good at the time) It seems to be easier if I eat small meals spaced throughout the day rather than the normal 3 meals a day I feel better. Oh yeah, water, water, and more water.
This past week Donna and Deanna went to San Diego on Monday, got home Friday afternoon. Katherine left Wednesday morning for Chicago, gets back tonight. Yes....they abandoned me. Left me with 3 dogs and 6 cats to care of!! Poor me....not really. If I had any ill effects from the treatments we would have put the dogs in the kennel...oh, they were still going to San Diego and leaving me, but I would be getting a break on the dog care! My brother Bob and sister-in-law Carol came over from San Antonio while the rest of the family was gone. Bob said it was a welcomed break, but I think it was a covert plan of our Mother's to have him check me out and report back to her. It was good to have them visit.
Tomorrow I start prepping for Round 2. Bloodwork first thing Monday morning to measure the white blood cell count. I was supposed to be in Oslo, Norway this week at a conference, but because I was just finishing my first treatment session, we thought it would be best to NOT be out of the country in the event I have some adverse reaction. Oh well, next year for sure. I told my good friend Lynn I was regretting not going now since I was feeling so good this week. She cautioned me though, saying I could feel good but if my white blood count isn't where the Doc wants it to be, it could affect Round 2. So, moral of the story.....patience. Right now, 6 months seems like 6 years...but really, it will pass quickly and I'll have this Blog to read and wonder what all the fuss was about. Most important, I have great friends and family for support.
Monday, March 14, 2011
March 14, 2011 - The "Off Week"
Well the weekend was a rough one as a blogged on Saturday. Sunday is still a fog, the aching bones and joints with a nagging headache a little nausea. Napped off and on. Went into work today, but left early as I had absolutely no strength in my legs and back.
Every Sunday I call my 80-year old mother to check in on her and see how she's doing, after all, she is 80-years old, right? Well, I turn 56 this year and my mother is as worried about me now as she did when I was 5 or 6. I didn't tell her or my brother about the cancer until I could tell them in person over Christmas. I could see she was visibly upset at the prospect of her son being sick and there wasn't anything she could do about it. She knows I am a grown man, but the "Mom factor" was in high gear. Of course I hadn't had the surgery yet and we didn't know then what we know now.
My dad passed away in 1993 with lung cancer and she spent many a long day caring for him. She saw what the disease did to him and I know she is worried about me. The difference is my age and my type of cancer. That's what I keep telling her. I am very upbeat about the prognosis and it is very important as I talk to her every week that she knows I am confident about my recovery so she can be confident as well. She is an avid golfer (did I mention she is 80?) so I make sure we talk golf when I call, after she gets my health update of course. With Donna going out of town for the week and Katherine heading to Chicago later, my mom asked if I wanted her to fly out and stay with me. She couldn't tell over the phone that made me cry. I told her she was welcome to come, but I would be alright. Travelling at 80 is a challenge. Heck, travelling at 56 is a challenge nowadays. I feel good, optimistic that the future Rounds will be like the first.
Well the upcoming 10 days is consider my 'off week' so I don't expect much happening. I'll pick up the posts next week as I head into Round 2. Thanks to all who send me well wishes, I do appreciate it.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
March 12, 2011 - Part 2
Well, Part 1 was really yesterday, Part 2 covers today....
It's Saturday....the 'day after' and its starting out a little sketchy. Not quite nauseous, not chipper and ready to run a couple miles....Yesterday, as I was leaving the Drs office, you remember I told you I got a shot of Neulasta as a parting gift. Neulasta is given to help prevent infections during chemotherapy by stimulating the body to generate white blood cells. That is important. It has side effects too....they warned me. But I was having such a great Round 1, I thought I'd be spared. Well, not so fast. "Side effects include: bone pain (yes), muscle pain (yes), headache (check), JOINT PAIN (exclamation point!!) yes. They said it would be sort of like the flu and they were right. Misery most of the day. Two Advil did the trick, but I think Hydrocodone will come in handy next Round.
2:00 pm Deanna made it down from Dallas. She and Donna are going to San Diego on Monday for Spring Break. Katherine is going to Chicago with her orchestra for the week. They're leaving me....
6:00 pm The joint pain, headache, and back ache is too much. Two Advil and I have to lay down. I'm getting moody....what's that all about? I'll try a little nap....
7:30 pm Katherine is off early, so Deanna and Donna are going to pick her up. Think I'll try a little dinner. It's been a long day so far, but I am very fortunate for the few trials I have had to endure so far. My thoughts are with you Larry and Linda...
It's Saturday....the 'day after' and its starting out a little sketchy. Not quite nauseous, not chipper and ready to run a couple miles....Yesterday, as I was leaving the Drs office, you remember I told you I got a shot of Neulasta as a parting gift. Neulasta is given to help prevent infections during chemotherapy by stimulating the body to generate white blood cells. That is important. It has side effects too....they warned me. But I was having such a great Round 1, I thought I'd be spared. Well, not so fast. "Side effects include: bone pain (yes), muscle pain (yes), headache (check), JOINT PAIN (exclamation point!!) yes. They said it would be sort of like the flu and they were right. Misery most of the day. Two Advil did the trick, but I think Hydrocodone will come in handy next Round.
2:00 pm Deanna made it down from Dallas. She and Donna are going to San Diego on Monday for Spring Break. Katherine is going to Chicago with her orchestra for the week. They're leaving me....
6:00 pm The joint pain, headache, and back ache is too much. Two Advil and I have to lay down. I'm getting moody....what's that all about? I'll try a little nap....
7:30 pm Katherine is off early, so Deanna and Donna are going to pick her up. Think I'll try a little dinner. It's been a long day so far, but I am very fortunate for the few trials I have had to endure so far. My thoughts are with you Larry and Linda...
March 12, 2011 - Round 1, Done
(I am posting for yesterday because I couldn't remember how to log into my own blog!! So, first yesterday, then later I'll write about today. Lynn, you were right, chemo-brain!!)
March 11, 2011 - 9:30 am Went to the Dr's office to drop off my "buddy" for about a week and a half. He'll get a check up and fresh bag of 5 FU for me then...see ya, I'll miss the little guy.
Removal of the line was liberating in a couple ways...first of course being untethered. Second, it represented the end of Round 1. I made it through my first treatment. Although I came through without the terrible nausea and fatigue and other more common side affects, I am not counting my chickens to soon. I have 11 more tests ahead.
I went back to work after the Drs visit and did alright. They gave me the complementary parting gift at the Drs office of a Neulasta shot for building white blood cells. I hate shots, but Wendy did a good job....She said "you did great for your first round, now this shot will make you feel lousy tomorrow. Like you've got the flu...achy muscles, back, etc." She explained its the bone marrow being called upon to make up new white blood cells. Okay, thanks, something to look forward to.
I don't know if I just ate too big a lunch or what, but by the end of the work day I was feeling a little "edgey". You know, am I gonna be sick or not? Got home and dinner was not on my agenda tonight. Tried to keep a quiet night. I was bound and determined NOT to have to take an anti-nausea pill. I was tired but had to stay up to pick up Katherine from her job at 10 pm.
9:40 pm Katherine called, she's ready to be picked up....whoa, okay, walk quietly to the door and get in the truck and drive over. "at the edge, away from the edge, back at the edge"...whew boy, what a long drive there (not really, about 5 minutes) and back. Katherine said "Dad, whatever you do...don't throw up!!" Well, I didn't, much to her relief.
10:30 pm Home, jammies on, heading to bed. Okay, I took a pill....it worked!!! I started feeling better and could actually get to sleep. The day is done. I survived.
March 11, 2011 - 9:30 am Went to the Dr's office to drop off my "buddy" for about a week and a half. He'll get a check up and fresh bag of 5 FU for me then...see ya, I'll miss the little guy.
Removal of the line was liberating in a couple ways...first of course being untethered. Second, it represented the end of Round 1. I made it through my first treatment. Although I came through without the terrible nausea and fatigue and other more common side affects, I am not counting my chickens to soon. I have 11 more tests ahead.
I went back to work after the Drs visit and did alright. They gave me the complementary parting gift at the Drs office of a Neulasta shot for building white blood cells. I hate shots, but Wendy did a good job....She said "you did great for your first round, now this shot will make you feel lousy tomorrow. Like you've got the flu...achy muscles, back, etc." She explained its the bone marrow being called upon to make up new white blood cells. Okay, thanks, something to look forward to.
I don't know if I just ate too big a lunch or what, but by the end of the work day I was feeling a little "edgey". You know, am I gonna be sick or not? Got home and dinner was not on my agenda tonight. Tried to keep a quiet night. I was bound and determined NOT to have to take an anti-nausea pill. I was tired but had to stay up to pick up Katherine from her job at 10 pm.
9:40 pm Katherine called, she's ready to be picked up....whoa, okay, walk quietly to the door and get in the truck and drive over. "at the edge, away from the edge, back at the edge"...whew boy, what a long drive there (not really, about 5 minutes) and back. Katherine said "Dad, whatever you do...don't throw up!!" Well, I didn't, much to her relief.
10:30 pm Home, jammies on, heading to bed. Okay, I took a pill....it worked!!! I started feeling better and could actually get to sleep. The day is done. I survived.
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