Here we go again....

So, it's December, about 2 months after the MRI on the old liver.  Historical recap:  The tiny spot was now two larger spots....blah, blah, blah, cut to the chase....relapse.  Bummer.  I have a new oncologist, Dr. Angela Coscio.  MD Anderson - St. Lukes.  Very smart.  Did I mention she has red hair?  Tall?   Red hair...hmm, where was I ?   Any way, she ordered all new tests to find out what was going on.    Met with Dr. Coscio yesterday.  Confirmed the biopsy was positive for the cancer cells, time to discuss next steps.  

Next steps....chemo...this time though, slightly different 'cocktail', mixed specially for this specific cancer cell tissue.  The other regimen, FOLFOX6 didn't get it all the last time. No Oxiplaitin this time, so no new neuropathy.  Yeah! (still no feeling in my toes)  The new chemical might cause acne and maybe some 'digestive distress', but other than that about like the last time, which I tolerated well.  Only 8 treatments she says, since they are very targeted.  After 4 we'll re-scan to see if the lesions are shrinking (which they should be) then 4 more and then my liver Dr., Aloia, will re-sect the tissue out and I think she said the tiny ones they'll zap with a bit of radiation (that's a bit scary). 

So, Merry Christmas to me....Christmas Eve morning, bright and early, head to the hospital to get my shiny new Port installed.  Yipee...I was a good boy this year, thank you Santa.  So I'll be in GREAT shape for Christmas Day.  I was supposed to cook the big Christmas dinner but not sure I'll feel up to it.  I guess I'll start my first treatment after Christmas sometime, but before New Year's Day.  

Planning a 10-day trip to Korea in March and I asked Dr. Coscio, with her red hair, if she thought I could still take the trip and she said absolutely!  She would make it work so that I can be gone for those days.  Hope all goes well.

So, there you have it.  I'm ready.  I have a pretty good idea what to expect.  Mentally...let's do this and get it over and done!!  I don't plan on slowing down too much, gotta keep busy.  I guess I'll try to add to this after the treatments, it helped me the first time, I'm sure it will help this time.  I guess I'll talk to ya'll in the New Year.  Happy Holidays!!

Happy Birthday to me....October 4, 2013

So, four months since the last entry. I have to admit its been a busy summer and early fall. I have traveled more in the past four months than I can remember. But in a lot of ways that is good. It means I am feeling better. Peripheral neuropathy is still a challenge in the feet, but I have been able to cope with any pain without prescription painkillers. OTC Aleve does the trick. I quit the 'scripts in April. If you remember in my previous blog, I tried going cold turkey. What a mistake. Anyway, that's done. I think I wrote about my puzzling liver thing. Its been pretty depressing thinking I might be going from one success to a new challenge. In April I had ANOTHER biopsy on the same spot on the liver. Like the last time, non-carcenogenic. Took a lot of blood tests and nothing definitive about anything. So my oncologist refered me to a liver specialist. I put off seeing the specialist since May. I was traveling alot and just could not (did not want) find the time.

Thursday, September 26, 2013 - So I decided to go see the specialist. I took all my liver paper work to him. "Hmmm....so you have had two CAT scans..." yes. "two PET scans...." yes. "None cancerous....full blood work for hepatitis A, B and C..." yes "all results negative...." yes. "So, why did you come to see me?" Really? Then, the reason the US health care system is so expensive: "Hmmm....have you had your liver MRI'd?" no. "Why don't we have you get an MRI on the liver and then we will have looked at it completely." So, I go in on Oct 6 (Sunday) for the procedure.

Monday, September 30 - I went for my six-month physical with my GP. It wasn't so good last time. Blood work done and numbers are on the edge, so over the edge. He wants me to see a urologist (you guys out there will know why). Well I didn't go see the urologist. Anyway, go in and the PA gives me a copy of my lab results....dread comes over me...then I read EVERYTHING is within acceptabel ranges...bad chlorestorol is down, good is up, PSA in the normal range, all the numbers looked great! It turned out to be a pretty good day that Monday.

Friday, October 4 - My birthday...Tommy was at work today in my office and took me to lunch, his treat. Came home to McKenzie's Bar-B-Que, which is a special occasion dinner for us. Deanna called from Plano, so it was good day.

Depression and anxiety lurk in the shadows. I feel restless. Just tired...mentally. That was one of the good things about one of the prescribed meds. Without it now I have to work at it all day, every day.

So, MRI this Sunday, follow up with the liver guy on Thursday. We'll see what the tests tell me. Went to Plano last weekend to see the grandson. What a joy. My kids don't remember my Dad much at all. They were so young when he passed.

If anything is worth reporting after my liver follow up this week I'll add to the blog. Take care

May 2013....in the homestretch for the two-year mark...

Half of 2013 is almost gone. It has been a busy 5 months. I have been feeling great lately; energy is up, neuropathy is more manageable. So I finally took the needed time to get the PET scan Dr. Baltz wanted me to have. My annual CT scan still had that pesky spot on the liver. It was a little bigger than last time, so he suggested I get a PET to look at it again. So I did the PET, and no surprise, the spot was still there and Doc said I should have another biopsy. Great. Well, I was a little less apprehensive than last year since I had been through it before. Made the appointment and headed to the Star Lobby at Memorial Hermann. Anyone needing outpatient radiology at Memorial knows where I am talking about. Got up early and made my way over to the hospital and filled out the paperwork, paid my copay, and waited. It was kind of slow that morning because I didn't have to wait very long before they called me back. Hmmm....looked very familiar. They put you in a 12 X 9 'stall' with a bed and monitoring equipment. It's outpatient, so you walk in, put on the stylish gown and relax. Soon the nurses start buzzing around. Every time one comes in to do something they ask you your name and birthdate....just to make sure you are the right person. I don't know who would want to fake an identity and go have a liver biopsy on the sly...Any way, I get all hooked up and wait....and wait...The procedure is supposed to be a CT guided biopsy, meaning they use a CT scanner to pinpoint the lesion for the biopsy. They started out in the 'stall' with an ultrasound machine, but the lesion is too small to zero in on and so its off to the CT room. Same drill...tech asks me to verify my name and birthdate. It takes about 20 minutes of different scans for the Dr to pinpoint the spot. They gave me a couple doses of happy juice to make me relax, but not go under...I have to be able to respond to the machine and Dr's instructions. Gave me two or three (can't remember)'numbing' shots at the location...then he was about ready to start. Man, he punched that first needle in and I thought I would pass out even with the happy juice. It was lot more uncomfortable than I remembered. Last time they really juiced me up to where the ceiling tiles were dancing around. Not this time. I could really feel the pressure. With two sample needles in, they ran me inside the CT scanner one last time before taking the samples. The machine tells you to 'breath in'...'hold your breath'...SCAN SCAN....'breath out'. Well, those two needles sticking in the old liver was so uncomfortable I was kind of holding my breath already, and when the machine said to 'breath in', I didn't have much lung capacity to inhale much. OUCH...He took 5 little samples and it was done. He pulled out the needles, put a bandage on the two punctures and that was it. Off to recovery.

Got my call from my Onco (well Donna got the call)and the biopsy showed NO cancer in the samples. Halleluah! I didn't expect to find cancer. And unfortunately I also expected what he did tell me what was going on. So last time, I had a 'fatty liver'...still do. I need to do some more blood work and testing now on the liver. I do not have any of the expected signs or symptoms, so my Onco says I should get with a liver specialist. Great...one more Dr. First thing I know I can do is exercise and lose weight. That can have a dramatic positive affect for the liver. I'm going to try yoga. Ok, chuckle now. That is my goal now, reverse this liver disease.

The other thing I have to do is stop one of the pain medications my GP switched me to. One of the rarer side effects is inflammation to the liver. Great...your liver takes a beating everyday. Everything goes through it and consequently you can damage it fairly easy. I don't drink alcohol, so I don't and won't have that related liver disease. Hoping the exercise regime will reverse this condition. Hopefully the yoga will help with the neuropathy in my feet. It was difficult tonight to go through the poses the instructor was doing because a lot of the poses require the strength of your feet for balance. I still can't feel my toes and its pretty uncomfortable bending my toes like the instructor wants.

But I'm determined to do it. By August, my two year anniversary off chemo, I want to be down significantly in weight and up just as much with flexibility and strength. I get angry thinking about the colon cancer and what it has done to me. I am grateful nothing has shown up in two years, but the side effects have been maddening. The depression it can bring really takes it out of you. But I press on. Life goes on. My little grandson is getting bigger and I love to spend time with him. My kids never knew my Dad very well, he died when they were young. I want to be around for the grand children from all of my kids.

If you still read this blog every once in a while, thanks. It helps me get balanced. Life is hard enough without physical challenges. I'll probably add another entry once I see the new doctor about this liver deal.

Two years....and gaining speed...

Christmas Eve

Well, first Christmas that I have felt pretty good since finishing Chemo last year. Not all the way there, but much better. In Plano visiting that little grandson of mine. He is a character...not bragging too much, but reminds me of me when I was his age...though I was too young to remember. I guess I would still be in San Juan, running around San Cristobal Fort, driving my Mom and Dad crazy. First night, Sunday, was a reminder of what it was like when our 4 were little. I was sound asleep, 230 am to be exact when I heard the first whimper....then a little cry....then Deanna coming into the guest bedroom with Mason to nurse him. Plop, right up in bed. Would have been ok except she uses one of the 'white noise' gadgets that makes a 'soothing' background noise to help him sleep. Well the noise was...I guess like a water fall or some sort of rushing water. Don't know how he could sleep through that, but it seemed to work! I laid there while Deanna rocked him in bed....whoosh, splash, water falling over rocks....he stirred a little, I rubbed his little sleepy foot hanging by my head and he settled down...gurgle, splash, whoosh...he finally settled down and I thought, okay, back to sleep. Then Deanna gets up, turns around and puts him in bed right next to me...crash, whoosh, splash...got to keep still so he sleeps...but all that sound of running water....well you know what that does....got to keep still...I control my body...I am in control....whoosh, splash...Deanna comes back in takes him back to bed, with her 'gadget' and its quiet again...starting to doze off...nope, I gotta get up...all that running water...gotta go!!

Had my check ups, two year anniversary. Earlier, my GP said things looked good. Saw my surgeon two weeks ago...said I looked great. I had called his office to schedule my annual 'scope, since I hadn't heard from him. The admin asked if I had received a letter from them to schedule and I said no, just thought I had to get an annual check. She looked at my records and said I wasn't scheduled until Dec 2013! Wow, I almost volunteered for a colonoscopy. Who does THAT?? Anyway, Doc said because last year's was clear I was on a two year rotation (no pun intended). Whew....Went to the Oncologist last week. He said everything looked great, would see me in 6 months. Still need a PET Scan next month, but just precautionary. Overall, I am pleased with everything for 2012.

For 2013, lose some more weight and get off BP medication. Neuropathy in my feet is still a problem, but getting used to it...sort of. Depression pops up every once in a while, but I fight through it.

Max Update...buddy Max and I have the routine down now. He is still under observation with Dr. Rainbow every two to three weeks. Still putting drops in his good eye and measuring the ocular pressures. Doc wants to get to the point of long term maintenance medications. Should be 3 or 4 more visits until he is comfortable with the maintenance plan. Otherwise, Max is doing great. His glass eye looks like it will settle into a gray color, but it doesn't seem to bother him. Peripheral vision of course is gone and he does get startled from things coming from his left side, but that will become easier.

Colleague of mine at work had some major surgery last week. Heart thing. He's in his mid 30s....MID 30s! Seems like everything went well. He came to talk to me before his surgery. Said he thought I could relate to the shock of hearing about a major health scare and how it resets your priorities. He has small kids and he said his life is more about his family now and work will find its way. I told him you gain a whole new perspective when faced with your own mortality. You are never the same. Never. Every ache, pain, bruise, or bump worries you. You are never at ease.

I am looking forward to 2013, both for the family and my work. We have some big goals for work and I am glad to be healthy enough to do my part. We have our challenges, but its my other family and I care about them. My immediate family, big plans as well...or at least that's what Donna tells me. I have gotten smarter as I have aged. Donna is smarter than me in a lot of ways when it comes to running this family. Looking forward to spending good times with Mason and all my kids and in-laws. Here's hoping for the best to all my friends and family in the new year!!

There's more to this life than just me...



I had another birthday earlier this month, made it to 57. The years don't mean much anymore. You are only as old as you feel...or something like that. I want to be 30-something again...I think. Anyway, getting closer to another anniversary to this blog. Neuropathy isn't any better, pretty discouraging. But like I titled today's entry, "There's more to this life than just me..." Lost a friend earlier this month to cancer. We met him and his wife just one time in Roseville, CA a few years back when Tommy was finishing up his church missionary work. We shared a meal and some stories about Tommy growing up. They only knew the smart young missionary that came into their home. When we left they knew a little bit more about him. It was a couple years later we read the news that Larry had cancer and the prognosis was not good. But he endured, and his sweetheart helped him along his journey. It was sad to hear he was gone. I never had it as bad as he did, for that I am grateful, but I thought about him everyday since he was diagnosed and everyday since I was able to finish my chemo.

Went to my General Physician last month for my first physical. Hurrah, everything looked good to him. Cholesterol numbers are coming down. He looked at the biopsy from last spring and was confident as well that it was nothing to worry about. (Easy for the Drs to say, isn't it?) He switched my medication to cope with the neuropathy. It was a big change getting used to it, but I think I'm settled into it now.

Grandson Mason is growing up!! Started walking...showing off!! Not only did he find his toes before me, he walks better than his old grandpa!

Two weeks ago, my life took another turn. This time it had absolutely nothing to do with me or my health. My best buddy, Max (my dog)started to have difficulty seeing the treats we were giving him. He used to be good at catching ice cubes and crunching them up. But all of a sudden he would just let the ice cube hit the ground and he would be looking all over for it. We took him to the vet and was diagnosed with glaucoma! In both eyes and in fact his left eye was already blind. We had emergency surgery to save his right eye, but we lost the left one. I think he has limited vision in the right eye.

Now we have a ritual, twice a day....he gets to sit in the big easy chair (once TABOO for dogs!!) while I put 6 different eye drops in his good eye. At first we had to muzzle him because he didn't like us being around his face so much. But now that he knows what I am doing, he lays down and patiently waits as I put one drop in, wait 5 minutes, put the next drop in, wait 5 more minutes, until all six drops are in. Can you imagine a child sitting still for 30 minutes, no complaints? That's Max. I think about Max all day long. I had to make the decision to remove the blind eye and put in the glass prosthetic eye. I wondered if he was upset with me. Anyway, this is what I meant by titling this "there's more to this life than just me..." Max needs me, for now. He will recover from the surgery, but he will go blind, eventually. There is no stopping glaucoma. I spend my time with him making him as comfortable and loved as I can.

Takes my mind off of my numb toes and aching feet. I get through these days looking forward to taking care of Max.

One Year Post Chemo

Saturday - August 4, 2012

Whew....one year...well, almost. It is Mason's 1 year birthday (my sweet grandson!!) today. My last treatment was August 7 2011. It seems like a lifetime ago. I honestly don't remember much about last year and what I do remember, I don't remember very clearly. My great friend Lynn called it 'chemo brain'. Friends, it is a real side effect!! What I think really happens is that half my brain is consumed with worrying about every ache or pain as being somehow related to the cancer, despite the fact that my doctor gave me a clean bill of health earlier this year. It doesn't help that I still have terrible neuropathy in my feet and legs. Its like sitting cross-legged on the floor and your foot falls asleep? Then you try to get up and walk and your foot and leg tingle...but eventually you get the feeling back. Well, the feeling doesn't come back for me. I never really gave it much thought how much you depend on your feet to stand. Well, I mean stand in a stable manner. Getting out of the shower with wet numb feet....well let's say I've hit the tiles on my behind several times. Glad I didn't hit my head and have to have my family find me spread out on the floor in the old birthday suit!!! Not a pleasant vision, sorry.

Let's take life one day at a time and not make such a big deal about the little stuff. We are all imperfect...that's what makes us who we are. Appreciate what you do have and give your kids an extra hug every once in a while. They'll look at you strangely, but that doesn't matter. You know why you did it. More again when I can remember what to write!!

Monday - June 25, 2012 - A Sigh of Relief Today

In my last posting, I told you I had a chest x-ray and CT scan done as a routine event. The CT scan showed a very small spot on the top of my liver. Great...what now? It wasn't there before my surgery and after 6 months of chemo....how could this happen? Doc wanted me to get a PET Scan to take a more detailed look. Did that....yep, something's there, but the Doc still has nothing definitive and suggests I have the spot biopsied to know once and for all.

Friday, June 15 - Well, today I went in for the procedure...not too excited at all about someone sticking a needle into me to extract a piece of my liver. A liver I've had all my life...one that I have grown very attached to....all of it. I was not so sure I wanted to give up even a sliver of my liver (hmmm...that rhymes doesn't it?) Anyway, the day arrived and the radiologist comes in and says "Wow, it's pretty small...its on the top of your liver right by your diaphragm. I sure don't want to puncture your lung." Well, I have to say I was right there with him on that one!! So this was a CT guided biopsy, which means he would position the biopsy needle with the help of a CT scanner. After looking at my PET scan a bit more he decided, what the heck, let's go for it!! Not really, he didn't say that, he said he was confident he had enough room in there to be safe. It would have been scary if he DID say "what the heck, let's go for it!"

So we wheel into the exam room and slip into the CT scanner. The nurse asks how I'm doing. Great I say...she says "here's a little something to make it easier". Hmmm...I don't feel anything....she says "no? How about now? Is the ceiling crawling like an alligator?" I don't know if it looked like an alligator, but it sure was dancing around!!! Demorol, the magic potion. So I'm laying there, the Doc is doing something around my rib cage, I guess, then I feel him sort of push hard. Says "okay, let's take some pictures." He uses the CT scanner to 'guide' the placement of the biopsy needle. So he pokes it in, takes a picture, looks at the picture, comes out, adjusts the needle, takes another picture....you get the drift. He finally comes out and says, "okay let's biopsy this. Hold your breath...CLACK...he pulls a plastic-like trigger. Hold your breath....CLACK....one more....CLACK. Okay, relax. He comes back out, pokes again, then hard push. More pictures, more looks, then CLACK....CLACK. Okay, you did great. How do you feel? You're all done. Good job.

And that...is a biopsy. Not too bad...with my good friend Demorol. Back in recovery, the nurse shows me a little glass jar with five little 'threads'. The biopsied liver tissue. Now we wait for the pathologist to read the samples and report to Dr. Baltz.

Monday, June 25 - The longest week goes by...an even longer weekend...time to see Dr. Baltz. They call my name...I go back and they take my weight...no change, darn it! Baltz walks by, pats me on the shoulder and says "Hey, it was negative! Go into the office and let's talk." NEGATIVE. Not cancer! Halleluah! Just a fatty liver. Not the best news, but treatable and normal life ahead. So, there you have it. Another PET scan in 6 months! Looking forward to spending time with my grandchildren!!

Your life is never the same when you are faced with life altering health issues. I am just grateful for my family and friends. Its never too late to clean up your life and eat smart and live a few days longer. I'll blog again with any updates. Take care all.