Saturday, September 3, 2011
September 3,2011 - One month post treatment
Saturday, September 3 - Well, coming up on one month post treatment! I can truly say I don't miss the bi-weekly trips to the clinic. Next Tuesday I will do my final lab work and then get the surgical order to remove the Porta-Cath from my chest. That will be a relief. The biggest hurdle now....neuropathy. I am sure any of you reading this that have either gone through this yourself or a family member or friend can relate. The chemo damages the nerves in your extremities (particularly hands and feet). It is extremely frustrating to walk and right now...type!! I had to go to a touch screen Blackberry because I couldn't use the keyboard to text because of the pain. It's funny as I type this blog, I am normally a very fast typer and I'll be flying along here and then look at the screen and say "what was I trying to say there???" My fingers get all messed up typing.
The Doc says the feeling will eventually return, not 100%, but some of it. I can live with that if the treatments took care of the cancer. The pain is sometime unbearable in my feet and fingers. Doc made me get a handicap placard (blue, for 'permanent disability'). Very helpful, but rather humbling to park in the designated parking zone. I don't want to be 'permanently' disabled.
I have a new grandson that makes all the chemo treatments worth it. I have a son coming home this December from 2 years of missionary service in Washington and that makes the chemo treatments worth it. It has been a terribly depressing 6 months but I have kept going. I have maintained as high a level of effort at my work as possible as I did not want to use this illness as an excuse to 'take it easy'. I battle it everyday. I think I'll make it. (After I typed that statement, I backspaced and was going to change it to 'know I'll make it', but changed it back. Because I don't 'know' if I can, but I know I will try.)
I hope the neuropathy passes quickly. I am looking forward to living a nearly normal life for a while longer. Oh yeah...50 and over?? Get 'scoped!!
Monday, August 15, 2011
August 15, 2011 Across the Finish Line
Monday - Done, and done. Well, I can't believe it....Round 12 completed last Friday and its over. Its over...O-VER...Seems like March was a lifetime ago. In a way, it was. Before the surgery in December I had another life. After that it all changed. The last 4 sessions, I have to admit, were easier than the first 8. No Oxaliplatin for the last 4, so the side effects were not as dramatic. I still had to carry my "buddy" with me, and that was bad enough. But now its over. I still have the Port-a-cath in my chest, but I should have that out in about 4 weeks. Once removed I'll really feel better.
Fact remains, I was diagnosed with cancer. One of the most feared things to hear. I know it scared me plenty. I look back at this blog, going back to the beginning and each week was a challenge. Each week seemed like it was an eternity. Each week of treatment I was going to get that 'poke'. I hated it. Still do. I worry about the others I shared those hours in the recliners, hooked up to those bags, dripping poison into our veins. I hope they all make it. I hope I do too.
I don't know what I'll do with myself next Monday morning when I don't have to go to the lab for blood work. (I will go back in about 4 weeks before I get the port removed) So that's it for a while. I guess I'll post with any milestones. I appreciate all of the encouragement from my friends these past 6 months. It really kept me going. If you haven't you're routine 'scope, do it. It could save your life. I know it saved mine.
Fact remains, I was diagnosed with cancer. One of the most feared things to hear. I know it scared me plenty. I look back at this blog, going back to the beginning and each week was a challenge. Each week seemed like it was an eternity. Each week of treatment I was going to get that 'poke'. I hated it. Still do. I worry about the others I shared those hours in the recliners, hooked up to those bags, dripping poison into our veins. I hope they all make it. I hope I do too.
I don't know what I'll do with myself next Monday morning when I don't have to go to the lab for blood work. (I will go back in about 4 weeks before I get the port removed) So that's it for a while. I guess I'll post with any milestones. I appreciate all of the encouragement from my friends these past 6 months. It really kept me going. If you haven't you're routine 'scope, do it. It could save your life. I know it saved mine.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
August 7, 2011 - Sunday Heading to Round 12
Sunday, August 7 - Thought I would take the opportunity to add a little before I start the last treatment. This past 'in-between' week was more challenging than most of the others. First, I didn't travel, which I looked forward to after each treatment. I had a Dr's appointment with Dr. Newton, the surgeon, so I couldn't travel this week. I went to church on Sunday to help with our 5-6 yr old class. I think that was a mistake. A couple of the kids weren't feeling well and Donna said I needed to go home. Since I always listen to her, I went. All was good at the beginning of the week. Wednesday was my Newton appointment, which went well..."see you in 3 months, then we'll schedule your first 'scope' in December." Boy, can't wait for that!!
I went back to work after the appointment and it started. I had a bit of a splitting headache and it didn't go away with Tylenol. So by 3pm I went home and went straight to bed. I thought I might just be tired, but the longer I laid there the worse I felt. I started with a mild fever and topped out at 101. Hmmm....Dr Baltz' instructions were to call if I got a temp. He was on call and I was able to speak directly with him. He said since I was off the Oxiaplatin he wasn't as concerned with the fever as he normally would be and said to take Tylenol and if the fever was still there in the morning I should come to his office.
Fortunately by 11 pm Wednesday night the fever was going down and by morning I was okay, save it being a sore throat and some sinus congestion.
On Thursday, we hit the road for Dallas. Deanna (my oldest daughter)was having her first baby (our first grandchild). Still had the sore throat and sinus pressure. Around 745 that evening, our little grandson joined us here in Texas. What a blessing to be alive to withness that!!! By that evening, I was exhausted and my youngest daughter asked me what that white stuff in my left eye was. I had noticed something in my eye as well, but thought it was just allergies. Eye was a little red, but not too bad, so off to bed.
Next morning, I awoke to a fully crusted, bloodshot eye. Yuk. Donna said "uh oh.....looks like pink eye". Gee, wonder where I might have picked that up? And by the way, looks like a cold sore was forming on the upper lip! Great.
I fought it all day Friday but by Saturday my other eye was getting red and excreting white junk as well. So we found a walk-in clinic to have it checked out. Well....Donna was right, conjunctivitis (pink eye), both eyes now. The Dr was concerned that I was on chemo so he ordered blood work to see if my white blood count was okay. Quick poke and draw and off to the lab. He came back and said all my counts were excellent (my blood pressure was elevated)so he could proceed with an antibiotic eye drop treatment. If my WBCs were elevated he said he would have to put me in the hospital. Thank goodness I didn't have to do that. Well the right eye was getting progressively worse (oh by the way, it was 109 degrees in Dallas everyday this week). I started the eye drops and have seen some slow improvements.
Leaving for Houston later today (Sunday) and get to cooler temperatures (high 90's...that's cooler?). What a week!! But, getting a new grandson makes it all better. Except I have been up since 230 this morning tending to my runny eyes.
I just wanted to add this to my journal so I didn't forget all the trials. This next session will be the last. I'll add to the Blog then. Its now 443 am Sunday...maybe I'll try to nap before I head to Houston....
I went back to work after the appointment and it started. I had a bit of a splitting headache and it didn't go away with Tylenol. So by 3pm I went home and went straight to bed. I thought I might just be tired, but the longer I laid there the worse I felt. I started with a mild fever and topped out at 101. Hmmm....Dr Baltz' instructions were to call if I got a temp. He was on call and I was able to speak directly with him. He said since I was off the Oxiaplatin he wasn't as concerned with the fever as he normally would be and said to take Tylenol and if the fever was still there in the morning I should come to his office.
Fortunately by 11 pm Wednesday night the fever was going down and by morning I was okay, save it being a sore throat and some sinus congestion.
On Thursday, we hit the road for Dallas. Deanna (my oldest daughter)was having her first baby (our first grandchild). Still had the sore throat and sinus pressure. Around 745 that evening, our little grandson joined us here in Texas. What a blessing to be alive to withness that!!! By that evening, I was exhausted and my youngest daughter asked me what that white stuff in my left eye was. I had noticed something in my eye as well, but thought it was just allergies. Eye was a little red, but not too bad, so off to bed.
Next morning, I awoke to a fully crusted, bloodshot eye. Yuk. Donna said "uh oh.....looks like pink eye". Gee, wonder where I might have picked that up? And by the way, looks like a cold sore was forming on the upper lip! Great.
I fought it all day Friday but by Saturday my other eye was getting red and excreting white junk as well. So we found a walk-in clinic to have it checked out. Well....Donna was right, conjunctivitis (pink eye), both eyes now. The Dr was concerned that I was on chemo so he ordered blood work to see if my white blood count was okay. Quick poke and draw and off to the lab. He came back and said all my counts were excellent (my blood pressure was elevated)so he could proceed with an antibiotic eye drop treatment. If my WBCs were elevated he said he would have to put me in the hospital. Thank goodness I didn't have to do that. Well the right eye was getting progressively worse (oh by the way, it was 109 degrees in Dallas everyday this week). I started the eye drops and have seen some slow improvements.
Leaving for Houston later today (Sunday) and get to cooler temperatures (high 90's...that's cooler?). What a week!! But, getting a new grandson makes it all better. Except I have been up since 230 this morning tending to my runny eyes.
I just wanted to add this to my journal so I didn't forget all the trials. This next session will be the last. I'll add to the Blog then. Its now 443 am Sunday...maybe I'll try to nap before I head to Houston....
Saturday, July 30, 2011
July 30, 2011 - Eleven down....one to go
Saturday night of Round 11. I can't believe I only have one more treatment to endure. What an experience. On Wednesday I went in for my appointment with Dr. Baltz (every other treatment). After a quick once over, I asked him how long I would have to keep the infusing port in my chest after my last treatment. He asked which number I was on and I said "today is number 11." He looked at my chart and asked "are you sure? I count only 9 done. You have this one and two more." I told him to count again...if there was ANYTHING I was more sure of it was how many of these treatments I had completed. He still only counted 9 but said it looked like Wendy had not recorded one. He went out of the exam room and came back to say "you were right, this will be number 11." Hallelujah! (I knew I was right. I said under my breath)
So I asked again how long I had to keep the port in since Wendy had said he usually liked to keep it in for about 3 months or more afterward. Which in my last post really bummed me out. BUT...he said, no, not in my case. "I told you you only had to do this for 6 mos. I do ask patients whom I suspect will have a recurrence. But not with you." After my last round, I will do one more lab work up and if my CBCs are up like always he said he would write the order for me to have the port removed. He then said "alright....I'll see you in three months!" I'll see him every 3 months for the next year or two (I think he said), then every 6 mos for the next couple years then if all is okay, he'll 'discharge' me!!!
So that was the greatest news. The neuropathy in my feet worsened over the past few weeks. No sensation in the toes anymore. It is very difficult and painful to walk. When travelling, walking through the airport between terminals takes extra effort. You don't realize how important your toes are until you cant feel them working for you!! I guess I am too proud or stubborn to ask for a ride on the people carts. Anyway, Dr. Baltz filled out the paper work for a temporary handicap placard for the car so I can park closer to shopping, etc. I told him I really appreciated it very much. Dr. Baltz is great guy.
I can finally see the light at the end of this long tunnel. And I am reasonably sure its not a train coming the other way. This has been an absolutely life changing event. I don't 'sweat the small stuff' anymore. Life is too short. I love my family more now, I guess I had taken them for granted over the years. But the spectre of dying sooner than I had expected made me realize how important they really are to me. Our younger son Scott is doing missionary work for our church up in Washington State. We did not tell him about the cancer or the treatments...didn't want him to worry. He'll probably be really mad when he comes home in December. I can't wait to see him.
My first grandchild will be born around the time of my last treatment (probably before, according to my daughter). People ask me if I am going to celebrate finishing my treatments....the Lord is giving me a great gift in this child. I am grateful to be alive to see this event and especially to see my son come home from his mission.
I have met some very remarkable individuals during this ordeal. Most, if not all, fighting a more difficult battle than mine. I was lucky. I hope the Dr made the right prognosis and this will be behind me. I won't forget those individuals that have just started this trial as I wrap up my own. I've learned that I need to take care of this old body of mine. Be kinder to it. Eat better. Get a check up regularly...head off anything that may pop up. And it will pop up. But at least now, if something happens in the future with my health, I know I have the courage to fight it and know I have to endure to the end.
Looking forward to Round 12 and done....
So I asked again how long I had to keep the port in since Wendy had said he usually liked to keep it in for about 3 months or more afterward. Which in my last post really bummed me out. BUT...he said, no, not in my case. "I told you you only had to do this for 6 mos. I do ask patients whom I suspect will have a recurrence. But not with you." After my last round, I will do one more lab work up and if my CBCs are up like always he said he would write the order for me to have the port removed. He then said "alright....I'll see you in three months!" I'll see him every 3 months for the next year or two (I think he said), then every 6 mos for the next couple years then if all is okay, he'll 'discharge' me!!!
So that was the greatest news. The neuropathy in my feet worsened over the past few weeks. No sensation in the toes anymore. It is very difficult and painful to walk. When travelling, walking through the airport between terminals takes extra effort. You don't realize how important your toes are until you cant feel them working for you!! I guess I am too proud or stubborn to ask for a ride on the people carts. Anyway, Dr. Baltz filled out the paper work for a temporary handicap placard for the car so I can park closer to shopping, etc. I told him I really appreciated it very much. Dr. Baltz is great guy.
I can finally see the light at the end of this long tunnel. And I am reasonably sure its not a train coming the other way. This has been an absolutely life changing event. I don't 'sweat the small stuff' anymore. Life is too short. I love my family more now, I guess I had taken them for granted over the years. But the spectre of dying sooner than I had expected made me realize how important they really are to me. Our younger son Scott is doing missionary work for our church up in Washington State. We did not tell him about the cancer or the treatments...didn't want him to worry. He'll probably be really mad when he comes home in December. I can't wait to see him.
My first grandchild will be born around the time of my last treatment (probably before, according to my daughter). People ask me if I am going to celebrate finishing my treatments....the Lord is giving me a great gift in this child. I am grateful to be alive to see this event and especially to see my son come home from his mission.
I have met some very remarkable individuals during this ordeal. Most, if not all, fighting a more difficult battle than mine. I was lucky. I hope the Dr made the right prognosis and this will be behind me. I won't forget those individuals that have just started this trial as I wrap up my own. I've learned that I need to take care of this old body of mine. Be kinder to it. Eat better. Get a check up regularly...head off anything that may pop up. And it will pop up. But at least now, if something happens in the future with my health, I know I have the courage to fight it and know I have to endure to the end.
Looking forward to Round 12 and done....
Thursday, July 14, 2011
June 14, 2011 - Thursday...like any other day
A remarkably unremarkable day!! But that's good. I felt great all day today. If I wasn't toting my 'buddy' around with me today I could almost forget I was on Round 10. Had a full and productive day at work...clear headed...feisty!! I have started taking sublingual B12 lozenges in hopes that it will lessen the neuropathy. The numbness is another reminder that things aren't the way they used to be.
On Thursdays all I want to do is work, go home, have dinner and go to sleep. Not because I am tired, I just want this day to become tomorrow and I can end Round 10. I am so close to the completion of this ordeal, I just hope nothing else has happened that will cause me to extend these treatments. I feel really good. My appetite has returned (unfortunately...I have gained back 6 lbs).
Travelling again next week...it makes the time go by. On to Round 11. Thanks to all for the good wishes!! Good friends make this bearable.
On Thursdays all I want to do is work, go home, have dinner and go to sleep. Not because I am tired, I just want this day to become tomorrow and I can end Round 10. I am so close to the completion of this ordeal, I just hope nothing else has happened that will cause me to extend these treatments. I feel really good. My appetite has returned (unfortunately...I have gained back 6 lbs).
Travelling again next week...it makes the time go by. On to Round 11. Thanks to all for the good wishes!! Good friends make this bearable.
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
July 13, 2011 - Wednesday - Round 10 Begins
Today was the second Round without the Oxiplaitin. FANTASTIC!!! The morning started out with the anticipated anxiety of getting the big poke! With the assistance of a bit a modern chemistry, I was a bit 'relaxed' for the procedure. It still hurt like the dickens, but I survived. Before being called back for the procedure, I chatted with a few folks in the waiting room. One woman I had seen quite often...really looked like her sessions were a bit of a challenge, but she was keeping a positive outlook. There was another woman with her husband there today. It was her first visit. Yesterday they inserted the infusion port. She and her husband had that very worried, lost look. I am sure that's how I looked on my first day. We tried to give her all the encouragement we could. I know I needed it (and still do)to get through this. She has the same doctor as me, so I told them how wonderful he was. She was called in before me. Her husband thanked us for sharing our thoughts with her. Hope I see them next week to see how she's doing.
Well, picked up my 'buddy' again for a couple overnight stays with me. He's still a bit of a nuisance, but I am down to only two more times. Hurrah!! I asked Wendy today, as she PIERCED my chest, how long after the last round would it be until I could get the infusion port removed....sigh, she said typically the doctor leaves it in for an additional 3 months while have a couple follow up CT scans to make sure nothing new has cropped up and if I have to have more treatments, I already have the port installed. (Donna said 'no way!! when you're done you need to get it removed!' I guess its easy for the person who doesn't have to go through the removal and possible re-installation to talk. I'll visit with the doctor on Round 11.
I went back to work after picking up my 'buddy' and had a pretty normal, busy day. I felt great all day. Light dinner tonight and still going strong. The neuropathy is awful. Feet are really numb. Toes especially. Hands just a bit, but I can tell its not the same as pre-treatment. It is really hard to walk nowadays without a great deal of discomfort. Such a strange sensation (or lack of!!) not feeling socks being put on...trying to put on flip flops, I can't feel the little piece going between the toes...really miserable...BUT...I can't really complain, I have been VERY VERY blessed to make it this far through the treatments.
Off to bed....full day tomorrow. C'mon 'buddy'!!!
Well, picked up my 'buddy' again for a couple overnight stays with me. He's still a bit of a nuisance, but I am down to only two more times. Hurrah!! I asked Wendy today, as she PIERCED my chest, how long after the last round would it be until I could get the infusion port removed....sigh, she said typically the doctor leaves it in for an additional 3 months while have a couple follow up CT scans to make sure nothing new has cropped up and if I have to have more treatments, I already have the port installed. (Donna said 'no way!! when you're done you need to get it removed!' I guess its easy for the person who doesn't have to go through the removal and possible re-installation to talk. I'll visit with the doctor on Round 11.
I went back to work after picking up my 'buddy' and had a pretty normal, busy day. I felt great all day. Light dinner tonight and still going strong. The neuropathy is awful. Feet are really numb. Toes especially. Hands just a bit, but I can tell its not the same as pre-treatment. It is really hard to walk nowadays without a great deal of discomfort. Such a strange sensation (or lack of!!) not feeling socks being put on...trying to put on flip flops, I can't feel the little piece going between the toes...really miserable...BUT...I can't really complain, I have been VERY VERY blessed to make it this far through the treatments.
Off to bed....full day tomorrow. C'mon 'buddy'!!!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
July 3, 2011 - Sunday Tremendous Weekend!
Wow....that's all I can say! Round 9 was my first treatment without the Oxiplaitin drug. The doctor decided I'd had enough and could eliminate that one. That meant on Wednesday no side effects. Thursday went to work and felt great all day!! Friday it was time to drop my "buddy" off again and NO SHOT!! I was able to see my friend Rudy as he went in to turn in his "buddy" for the last time. He was done. I was so happy for him and his wife Bernie. Over the six months we became really good friends and I hope to keep up with his progress over the years. There is a bond that is made when you share trials with others on the same path with you. He really kept me going.
Saturday was great...no nausea. Spent good times with my son Tommy working on one of our cars. Ran errands with Donna most of the day without really feeling too bad at all. Food tasted almost normal...almost. But I have to be careful not to get to used to eating like I used to. I need to keep my weight down and drop some more to stay off my blood pressure medication!!!
Sunday I got back on the treadmill....first time in 6 months. I pushed through 1 mile. I thought about just doing a 1/2 mile, but when I saw the little distance dots on the treadmill go by, I decided to suck it up and keep going. With each step my determination grew. I have to admit though, when I finished that mile, my legs were like rubber, and for the rest of the day I am pretty well shot. But getting back on the treadmill was a major milestone for me.
I am nearing the end of this journey. My life is changed forever. I don't sweat the small stuff like I used to. My family is more important to me now than ever before. Looking forward to continued improvements.
Saturday was great...no nausea. Spent good times with my son Tommy working on one of our cars. Ran errands with Donna most of the day without really feeling too bad at all. Food tasted almost normal...almost. But I have to be careful not to get to used to eating like I used to. I need to keep my weight down and drop some more to stay off my blood pressure medication!!!
Sunday I got back on the treadmill....first time in 6 months. I pushed through 1 mile. I thought about just doing a 1/2 mile, but when I saw the little distance dots on the treadmill go by, I decided to suck it up and keep going. With each step my determination grew. I have to admit though, when I finished that mile, my legs were like rubber, and for the rest of the day I am pretty well shot. But getting back on the treadmill was a major milestone for me.
I am nearing the end of this journey. My life is changed forever. I don't sweat the small stuff like I used to. My family is more important to me now than ever before. Looking forward to continued improvements.
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