A remarkably unremarkable day!! But that's good. I felt great all day today. If I wasn't toting my 'buddy' around with me today I could almost forget I was on Round 10. Had a full and productive day at work...clear headed...feisty!! I have started taking sublingual B12 lozenges in hopes that it will lessen the neuropathy. The numbness is another reminder that things aren't the way they used to be.
On Thursdays all I want to do is work, go home, have dinner and go to sleep. Not because I am tired, I just want this day to become tomorrow and I can end Round 10. I am so close to the completion of this ordeal, I just hope nothing else has happened that will cause me to extend these treatments. I feel really good. My appetite has returned (unfortunately...I have gained back 6 lbs).
Travelling again next week...it makes the time go by. On to Round 11. Thanks to all for the good wishes!! Good friends make this bearable.
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
July 13, 2011 - Wednesday - Round 10 Begins
Today was the second Round without the Oxiplaitin. FANTASTIC!!! The morning started out with the anticipated anxiety of getting the big poke! With the assistance of a bit a modern chemistry, I was a bit 'relaxed' for the procedure. It still hurt like the dickens, but I survived. Before being called back for the procedure, I chatted with a few folks in the waiting room. One woman I had seen quite often...really looked like her sessions were a bit of a challenge, but she was keeping a positive outlook. There was another woman with her husband there today. It was her first visit. Yesterday they inserted the infusion port. She and her husband had that very worried, lost look. I am sure that's how I looked on my first day. We tried to give her all the encouragement we could. I know I needed it (and still do)to get through this. She has the same doctor as me, so I told them how wonderful he was. She was called in before me. Her husband thanked us for sharing our thoughts with her. Hope I see them next week to see how she's doing.
Well, picked up my 'buddy' again for a couple overnight stays with me. He's still a bit of a nuisance, but I am down to only two more times. Hurrah!! I asked Wendy today, as she PIERCED my chest, how long after the last round would it be until I could get the infusion port removed....sigh, she said typically the doctor leaves it in for an additional 3 months while have a couple follow up CT scans to make sure nothing new has cropped up and if I have to have more treatments, I already have the port installed. (Donna said 'no way!! when you're done you need to get it removed!' I guess its easy for the person who doesn't have to go through the removal and possible re-installation to talk. I'll visit with the doctor on Round 11.
I went back to work after picking up my 'buddy' and had a pretty normal, busy day. I felt great all day. Light dinner tonight and still going strong. The neuropathy is awful. Feet are really numb. Toes especially. Hands just a bit, but I can tell its not the same as pre-treatment. It is really hard to walk nowadays without a great deal of discomfort. Such a strange sensation (or lack of!!) not feeling socks being put on...trying to put on flip flops, I can't feel the little piece going between the toes...really miserable...BUT...I can't really complain, I have been VERY VERY blessed to make it this far through the treatments.
Off to bed....full day tomorrow. C'mon 'buddy'!!!
Well, picked up my 'buddy' again for a couple overnight stays with me. He's still a bit of a nuisance, but I am down to only two more times. Hurrah!! I asked Wendy today, as she PIERCED my chest, how long after the last round would it be until I could get the infusion port removed....sigh, she said typically the doctor leaves it in for an additional 3 months while have a couple follow up CT scans to make sure nothing new has cropped up and if I have to have more treatments, I already have the port installed. (Donna said 'no way!! when you're done you need to get it removed!' I guess its easy for the person who doesn't have to go through the removal and possible re-installation to talk. I'll visit with the doctor on Round 11.
I went back to work after picking up my 'buddy' and had a pretty normal, busy day. I felt great all day. Light dinner tonight and still going strong. The neuropathy is awful. Feet are really numb. Toes especially. Hands just a bit, but I can tell its not the same as pre-treatment. It is really hard to walk nowadays without a great deal of discomfort. Such a strange sensation (or lack of!!) not feeling socks being put on...trying to put on flip flops, I can't feel the little piece going between the toes...really miserable...BUT...I can't really complain, I have been VERY VERY blessed to make it this far through the treatments.
Off to bed....full day tomorrow. C'mon 'buddy'!!!
Sunday, July 3, 2011
July 3, 2011 - Sunday Tremendous Weekend!
Wow....that's all I can say! Round 9 was my first treatment without the Oxiplaitin drug. The doctor decided I'd had enough and could eliminate that one. That meant on Wednesday no side effects. Thursday went to work and felt great all day!! Friday it was time to drop my "buddy" off again and NO SHOT!! I was able to see my friend Rudy as he went in to turn in his "buddy" for the last time. He was done. I was so happy for him and his wife Bernie. Over the six months we became really good friends and I hope to keep up with his progress over the years. There is a bond that is made when you share trials with others on the same path with you. He really kept me going.
Saturday was great...no nausea. Spent good times with my son Tommy working on one of our cars. Ran errands with Donna most of the day without really feeling too bad at all. Food tasted almost normal...almost. But I have to be careful not to get to used to eating like I used to. I need to keep my weight down and drop some more to stay off my blood pressure medication!!!
Sunday I got back on the treadmill....first time in 6 months. I pushed through 1 mile. I thought about just doing a 1/2 mile, but when I saw the little distance dots on the treadmill go by, I decided to suck it up and keep going. With each step my determination grew. I have to admit though, when I finished that mile, my legs were like rubber, and for the rest of the day I am pretty well shot. But getting back on the treadmill was a major milestone for me.
I am nearing the end of this journey. My life is changed forever. I don't sweat the small stuff like I used to. My family is more important to me now than ever before. Looking forward to continued improvements.
Saturday was great...no nausea. Spent good times with my son Tommy working on one of our cars. Ran errands with Donna most of the day without really feeling too bad at all. Food tasted almost normal...almost. But I have to be careful not to get to used to eating like I used to. I need to keep my weight down and drop some more to stay off my blood pressure medication!!!
Sunday I got back on the treadmill....first time in 6 months. I pushed through 1 mile. I thought about just doing a 1/2 mile, but when I saw the little distance dots on the treadmill go by, I decided to suck it up and keep going. With each step my determination grew. I have to admit though, when I finished that mile, my legs were like rubber, and for the rest of the day I am pretty well shot. But getting back on the treadmill was a major milestone for me.
I am nearing the end of this journey. My life is changed forever. I don't sweat the small stuff like I used to. My family is more important to me now than ever before. Looking forward to continued improvements.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
June 29, 2011 - Wednesday Round 9
Wednesday - No Oxiplaitin!! Amazing...last session Dr. Baltz said he was discontinuing the heavy duty stuff. Guess I've had enough. Besides the neuropathy has progressively gotten worse and the Folfox6 protocol says to take the patient off. No complaints from me. Without the Oxi, no metallic taste, no cold sensitivity, and no Neulasta shot on Friday. Happy day!! I actually went out to dinner with Donna tonight and could taste most of my steak!!! Came home and had...wait for it....a small bowl of ice cream!!! Glorious!!!
Still have to carry my "buddy" with me for the last 4 sessions, but it's tolerable. I have to say it has been a long journey with a few more miles to go. I have learned a lot from this ordeal and will keep these lessons until the day I pass on. Life is short. Appreciate all that is important. My family and friends. I was in Puerto Rico last week for work and at dinner I was asked by one of my consultants "so what keeps you up at night about this project?" Well I gave her a business answer, you know, "what if this happens...or the client changes his mind...etc..." Afterwards in my hotel I thought to myself I don't or shouldn't lose sleep over this project! What keeps me awake at night is this cancer thing. How to beat it. How to stay close to my family. How to let my friends know I am okay and I'm going to win this battle!! Don't get me wrong, the project is my number one 'business' priority, but this battle is my number one LIFE priority.
I can't wait until Friday to take my buddy back and leave without the shot!! Maybe a good weekend ahead. I have to be careful now that I am nearing the completion. I have enjoyed the weight loss...I'm off my blood pressure meds...I want to keep in better shape now. I neglected my health and have paid a heavy price. Off to bed...I'll blog on after I drop off my "buddy".
Still have to carry my "buddy" with me for the last 4 sessions, but it's tolerable. I have to say it has been a long journey with a few more miles to go. I have learned a lot from this ordeal and will keep these lessons until the day I pass on. Life is short. Appreciate all that is important. My family and friends. I was in Puerto Rico last week for work and at dinner I was asked by one of my consultants "so what keeps you up at night about this project?" Well I gave her a business answer, you know, "what if this happens...or the client changes his mind...etc..." Afterwards in my hotel I thought to myself I don't or shouldn't lose sleep over this project! What keeps me awake at night is this cancer thing. How to beat it. How to stay close to my family. How to let my friends know I am okay and I'm going to win this battle!! Don't get me wrong, the project is my number one 'business' priority, but this battle is my number one LIFE priority.
I can't wait until Friday to take my buddy back and leave without the shot!! Maybe a good weekend ahead. I have to be careful now that I am nearing the completion. I have enjoyed the weight loss...I'm off my blood pressure meds...I want to keep in better shape now. I neglected my health and have paid a heavy price. Off to bed...I'll blog on after I drop off my "buddy".
Saturday, June 18, 2011
June 18, 2011 - Saturday....Round 8 done
On the downhill side of treatments now. Eight down, four to go. The neuropathy (numbness in hands and feet)has become more noticeable over the past few weeks. Today I was in the front yard watering the plants and didn't notice (feel)my feet covered in ants. I guess the good thing was I didn't feel them biting as bad, but they still put a bunch of bites on me.
On Wednesday, Dr. Baltz told me that because of the increase in neuropathy symptoms, they will discontinue the Oxiplaitin chemo for the rest of my treatments. That means no 3 hour sessions in the clinic. I'll just pick up my 'buddy' and head home. It also means, HURRAH, that I won't have the neulasta shot after each treatment. My chemo friend Rudy got off Oxi this week (he has one session left)and on Friday I asked him how it was going. He said it was terrific without the Oxi and he was looking forward to not having the shot. The shot is what really knocks you on your butt. The other side effects are tough too, metallic tongue, cold sensitivity, numbness, but anyone who has experienced nausea knows that's the worst!!
As I look ahead to the last four treatments, I cannot believe I have made it this far. This has been, and I will continue to fight if need be, the biggest battle I have faced. I have missed seeing friends from church because I just don't feel well enough to go and the Dr said I should avoid crowds anyway. I missed special events because of this as well. My apologies to Isabel Jones, I missed Tom's memorial service today because I felt so lousy. I will miss Tom, he was a good man.
I slept most of this weekend. It has been so hot, I just can't take it. We did some errands today and it absolutely drained me. I have no energy. But, it is Saturday night and its tapering off and I am looking forward to a good Father's Day. I miss my dad and think of him often. He lost his battle with cancer 18 years ago. I call on his strength to help me through.
I am looking forward to completing these treatments with a resounding successful outcome. I have too many things to look forward to to let this keep me down. Thanks to all my friends for your love and support.
On Wednesday, Dr. Baltz told me that because of the increase in neuropathy symptoms, they will discontinue the Oxiplaitin chemo for the rest of my treatments. That means no 3 hour sessions in the clinic. I'll just pick up my 'buddy' and head home. It also means, HURRAH, that I won't have the neulasta shot after each treatment. My chemo friend Rudy got off Oxi this week (he has one session left)and on Friday I asked him how it was going. He said it was terrific without the Oxi and he was looking forward to not having the shot. The shot is what really knocks you on your butt. The other side effects are tough too, metallic tongue, cold sensitivity, numbness, but anyone who has experienced nausea knows that's the worst!!
As I look ahead to the last four treatments, I cannot believe I have made it this far. This has been, and I will continue to fight if need be, the biggest battle I have faced. I have missed seeing friends from church because I just don't feel well enough to go and the Dr said I should avoid crowds anyway. I missed special events because of this as well. My apologies to Isabel Jones, I missed Tom's memorial service today because I felt so lousy. I will miss Tom, he was a good man.
I slept most of this weekend. It has been so hot, I just can't take it. We did some errands today and it absolutely drained me. I have no energy. But, it is Saturday night and its tapering off and I am looking forward to a good Father's Day. I miss my dad and think of him often. He lost his battle with cancer 18 years ago. I call on his strength to help me through.
I am looking forward to completing these treatments with a resounding successful outcome. I have too many things to look forward to to let this keep me down. Thanks to all my friends for your love and support.
Monday, June 6, 2011
June 6, 2011 - Monday....finally
Well, they say the effects of chemo are cumulative as you keep going. It is true I guess for some of the side effects. Feet (toes) are numb to the touch. Circulation is fine so no problems there, just tactile sensation is impaired. Trimmed my nails the other day, could not feel the clippers on the nail. Weird, huh? Hands are affected too. Frustrating. Taste buds are going fast. I have had to get used to eating "virtual" food. It looks like a hamburger, even smells like a hamburger, but when I bite into it, it doesn't taste like a hamburger. I hope things get back to normal after I am finished.
So, seven down, five to go. I think I might actually make it! Work has been keeping me busy in between treatments so the weeks go by quickly. I still hate the treatments, but pretty soon 5 will be 4 and eventually 1 and then done!! So far this trek has made me really appreciate my family and friends more than ever. I have tried to tell everyone that the surgery took care of the cancer and the treatments are preventive. Well, that's most of the truth. I guess once its been found you are always waging war. Great news today on the progress made in breast and skin cancer!! Hopefully they will have answers for all the 'Cs' that ail us!!
So its Monday and I finally feel 75% again. It only gets better as the week progresses. Back to San Juan for a couple days to keep me busy and hoping for a great rest of the week. Hopefully the summer will pass quickly and I'll finish up in August.
So, seven down, five to go. I think I might actually make it! Work has been keeping me busy in between treatments so the weeks go by quickly. I still hate the treatments, but pretty soon 5 will be 4 and eventually 1 and then done!! So far this trek has made me really appreciate my family and friends more than ever. I have tried to tell everyone that the surgery took care of the cancer and the treatments are preventive. Well, that's most of the truth. I guess once its been found you are always waging war. Great news today on the progress made in breast and skin cancer!! Hopefully they will have answers for all the 'Cs' that ail us!!
So its Monday and I finally feel 75% again. It only gets better as the week progresses. Back to San Juan for a couple days to keep me busy and hoping for a great rest of the week. Hopefully the summer will pass quickly and I'll finish up in August.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
June 1, 2011 Wednesday....Round 7....Downhill from Here
7:30 pm - Wednesday -- Beginning Round 7 of 12. That means 6 down, 6 to go! Milestone day...had a sit down with the Dr. about the mental and emotional toll chemotherapy has on a person. Once you hear the word 'cancer' nothing is ever the same. Its on your mind, 24/7. I told him how the anxiety builds every day that I come to his office. Today we talked about the depression-inducing strain. He said it was totally understandable; he said it was great that I try to continue with as much normalcy in my daily life. He said that will go a long way to making the treatments successful. BUT....he said you need to realize that I (Dr. Balz) am poisoning you each time you come in. That is not normal and you (and your family)need to accept that. BUT...you are going to do fine. And you know what? I will do fine. I have a lot to look forward to in the very new future, new grandbaby in August (due 2 days after my last treatment, therefore I will be in the uber nausea state and NOT interested in baby 'excretions', so I will see him the next weekend!! ;-)
Dr. Baltz is an amazing guy. He is super friendly, down to earth guy from Louisiana. When we meet and he goes through his physical check on me, he and I chat about our travels, our hobbies (he likes to cook as do I), just relaxing. He really calmed me down and wanted make sure I continued with the progress I have been showing him.
So anyway...7 down, 6 to go. One guy in my session time, Rudy, today was number 10, two to go! I gave him 'the eye' :-) jokingly. I am so happy for him. He is on the same program as me and he is doing great at 10 so I am looking at being as good at the end as he is!!! Then, let the celebrations begin!! I'll be back tomorrow with an update on day 2!!
Dr. Baltz is an amazing guy. He is super friendly, down to earth guy from Louisiana. When we meet and he goes through his physical check on me, he and I chat about our travels, our hobbies (he likes to cook as do I), just relaxing. He really calmed me down and wanted make sure I continued with the progress I have been showing him.
So anyway...7 down, 6 to go. One guy in my session time, Rudy, today was number 10, two to go! I gave him 'the eye' :-) jokingly. I am so happy for him. He is on the same program as me and he is doing great at 10 so I am looking at being as good at the end as he is!!! Then, let the celebrations begin!! I'll be back tomorrow with an update on day 2!!
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