Update from the last entry where I was preparing for the surgery. I updated this on my Facebook status, but here's a recap. Went in for the surgery in September and the Dr peeked around inside and decided that the chemo was doing a pretty good job and closed me up and sent me home. Went back to see Dr Coscio and she wanted me to do four more treatments and then do a scan. Did my four and had a CT and MRI last Friday. Nothing like getting up at 430 am in order to drive 35 miles into town (sounds like I live out in the country or something!) to MD Anderson main campus. Rolled into the valet about 630 am and prepped for the CT scan of the chest. Piece of cake, been there, done that. Finished up and went down 3 floors and prepped for the MRI. This time was better than the last MRI. I got the newer MRI machine which is a little bigger so it wasn't so claustrophobic feeling. They also gave me headphones that seemed to be playing the Mike and Mike sports talk show. Sometimes it was hard to hear the machine instructions to breath and hold your breath....MRI's are LOUD. The good thing about early appointments is you finish early too. So I was back home for lunch and then into the office for a couple hours.
Today, December 12, was my doctor visit today to review the CT/MRI...Met with Alicia, the PA today, I guess Coscio was busy. Anyway she said "good news, the scans looked great..." The two smaller lesions did not change size, the larger one moderately decreased in size...So, still responding positively....and so.....I get 4 more treatments! Good news, I don't have to start up again until after the New Year. Four more treatments then we'll scan again and go from there. I'll take advantage of the break to get out there and walk some more. During the period between last chemo and the planned surgery, I walked about 150 miles in 7 weeks, and felt great. I tried to continue walking after I started chemo again, but man, I could not find the energy. But with this winter break of a few weeks I am going to try and get out there again.
This time around (the last 4) has been the roughest, emotionally. Just didn't feel like I was going to get to the 4th one any time soon. But then it came and I was done. Yeah, I was disappointed that I have 2 more months of chemo after the first of the year, but I am just ready to knock this thing out!! The treatments aren't too bad. I feel very fortunate that I feel as good as I do. Alicia said I was a rock star with the treatments. All of my lab numbers are great and my liver enzymes are great, meaning the liver is tolerating the chemo very well. After this next round, if all three lesions continue to shrink, I guess we will keep going until the tumors stabilize and then the liver Dr will decide what the next move will be.
So....bring it on! Looking forward to Christmas with my grandson, greeting the new year with a new grand daughter and an awesome 2015! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season and I look forward to bringing more good news in the new year!!
Monday, December 15, 2014
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Light at the end of the Tunnel
Well, big news. No more chemo. The Doctors have decided that I've had enough and the two lesions on the old liver are small enough now that they can surgically remove them. So here we go again with some serious cuttin'. So a couple weeks ago I had an appointment with Dr. Aloia, the liver Doc, and he wants to go over the last CT scan and tell me my options....He said everything looks good to go ahead and remove the two lesions, they have responded well to the chemo and have shrunk from 7 cms in November to about 1.3 cms now. He said we have to consider it now as well, because I was getting to the limit on the amount of chemo the old liver could take. He said after 8 sessions, the liver starts to be affected, 12 and it is starting to suffer, after 18 its difficult to operate on the liver. I was at 15, so it was time to stop.
The Doctors at MDA are terrific. They are very flexible with their schedule. I thought he was going to tell me after the consult that he had time next week if I wanted to have the surgery. I was surprised when he said I needed to be off chemo for at least 4 weeks to get it out of my system I guess and give the liver a chance to rest. I told him I had a conference in Hawaii in mid-September and he said no problem, we'll just wait for you to get back. Easy Peasy.....So, September 23 is the big day. He told me that between now (the appt last week) and the surgery, he wanted me to walk 30 mins in the morning and 30 mins in the evening and wants me to lose at least 10 pounds, all in an effort to strengthen the liver and make the surgery/recovery easier. Been doing it and already down 3 pounds. I want to do better than 10.
The week of the surgery starts with a Sunday MRI, Monday consult with the Doctor and the anesthesiologist, and then Tuesday admission. The way he explained it, on the day of the surgery he'll start by inserting a little camera (hopefully I will be deep into sleepy land) to look around at the condition of the liver. Then he'll take a biopsy and analyze the tissue to make sure it is strong enough for the surgery. If everything looks okay they'll proceed. He drew on a little diagram of the liver the two spots he was going to work on. He quickly drew two squares around the areas and said "I'll take this one out! And then, "I'll take that one out!" There is a tiny one he said he will just zap with a heated probe. YIKES. I asked him just how big his little squares on his picture were going to be and he said about the size of a lime. Okay, a Key Lime or small lime, or a big lime? He didn't say. I'm praying for the Key Lime!!!
Anyway, I'll be at MDA main hospital for about 5 days, then home for about 3 weeks. No driving, for a month, just recovering. Not looking forward to the surgery, but its my best chance for a cure. Now I may have to have what they are calling 'maintenance chemo' for a while afterwards, but that is okay, I can tolerate it fine. So, keep me in your prayers for a healthy liver in about 5 weeks and the surgery can go forward.
The Doctors at MDA are terrific. They are very flexible with their schedule. I thought he was going to tell me after the consult that he had time next week if I wanted to have the surgery. I was surprised when he said I needed to be off chemo for at least 4 weeks to get it out of my system I guess and give the liver a chance to rest. I told him I had a conference in Hawaii in mid-September and he said no problem, we'll just wait for you to get back. Easy Peasy.....So, September 23 is the big day. He told me that between now (the appt last week) and the surgery, he wanted me to walk 30 mins in the morning and 30 mins in the evening and wants me to lose at least 10 pounds, all in an effort to strengthen the liver and make the surgery/recovery easier. Been doing it and already down 3 pounds. I want to do better than 10.
The week of the surgery starts with a Sunday MRI, Monday consult with the Doctor and the anesthesiologist, and then Tuesday admission. The way he explained it, on the day of the surgery he'll start by inserting a little camera (hopefully I will be deep into sleepy land) to look around at the condition of the liver. Then he'll take a biopsy and analyze the tissue to make sure it is strong enough for the surgery. If everything looks okay they'll proceed. He drew on a little diagram of the liver the two spots he was going to work on. He quickly drew two squares around the areas and said "I'll take this one out! And then, "I'll take that one out!" There is a tiny one he said he will just zap with a heated probe. YIKES. I asked him just how big his little squares on his picture were going to be and he said about the size of a lime. Okay, a Key Lime or small lime, or a big lime? He didn't say. I'm praying for the Key Lime!!!
Anyway, I'll be at MDA main hospital for about 5 days, then home for about 3 weeks. No driving, for a month, just recovering. Not looking forward to the surgery, but its my best chance for a cure. Now I may have to have what they are calling 'maintenance chemo' for a while afterwards, but that is okay, I can tolerate it fine. So, keep me in your prayers for a healthy liver in about 5 weeks and the surgery can go forward.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Is it July already???
Wow, I haven't update this since December. I have updated my status on Facebook, but its not the same in a blog it seems. So, in my last post, I told you about my planned trip to Korea. It was fantastic, chance of a lifetime, I'll probably not have another trip there again. I was a little worried being out of the country for so long, not knowing what to expect with health, etc. Turned out okay. Korea, for the most part, is a fascinating place. With my Japanese heritage, it was great to be in a similar culture.
So two weeks in Korea, I flew back, restarted my chemo schedule, repacked and headed somewhere else, then another trip, then another chemo, then a little more chemo. My last regularly scheduled 8 round treatment schedule ended April 18. As I updated on Facebook, Dr. Redhair greeneyes, uh, Coscio, said she wanted me to go for 4 more treatments because I was responded well to the regimen. She eliminated the weekend 'buddy' bag, which was a big psychological step. I never felt I was making any positive movement when I had to drag my 'buddy' with me. Leaving him behind helped alot. I still struggled with the mere fact she wanted me to do four more, as I referred to them as my 'bonus' treatments. But I knew I could do it if it was making a difference. My next CT scan was in late April and it was good. Reduction in the size of all the lesions. All of my labs are excellent. Dr. Coscio started to think about talking with the liver surgeon about next steps.
So, its May now, and Dr. Coscio is getting ready to go on her maternity leave. Really? Doesn't she know how important I am and she has the nerve to take time off to what, have a baby??? Just kidding.... Men don't ask the right questions, and then they have to report to their wives all the details. I failed....again..."when did she have the baby?....uh, May?" "what did she have?...a girl, or uh maybe a boy." Anyway, she went ahead and took her time off. So I met her colleague, Dr. Nelson. Sigh. No red hair, green eyes, and all the other Angela stuff. I guess I'll just consider him...the Doctor. So, first meeting (older guy, serious look as he peruses my chart)....so, you had a CT scan in April.....looks like the lesions were showing reduction in size....looking at your lab work....(I REALLY HATED THOSE PAUSES!!!)...everything..looks..great! You are responding well to the chemo, we are going in the right direction. MAN...WORK ON YOUR COMMUNICATION SKILLS!!! I was expecting during anyone of those pauses for the...
"however....", but everything looked good. I told him about Coscio's plan for surgery and he said maybe we won't do surgery and just kill them off with chemo. Okay, you're the Dr. But we will probably look at long-term chemo just to keep things in check. Bummer.
So fast forward. July 23, last of the four 'bonus' treatments. Hooray. CT scan planned for the following week. July 2, CT scan at the main campus of MDA. Been there, done that, know the routine. You go in early to do blood work...then you go to the Imaging Dept and get in the queue to prep for the CT. They call you back the first time to get your vitals..then you wait..then they call you back to start your IV for when they inject a contrast medium during the scan. And they give you this extra large plastic cup with the drink of your choice (Sprite, Sprite zero, of some other juice) with oral contract poured in. "Okay, drink down to this line (the portion where those drink cups get small at the bottom) in an hour. Save the last until when they call you back." I picked Sprint Zero...zero calories, gotta watch my weight!! ;-0 This time around though, they threw in a kicker..."and did they tell you that you are going to get a barium enema too?" SAY WHAT??? Oh well, when you go through all you do to stay upright, what's a hose up the bum. Oh yeah, they do that once I get on the table, they didn't make me sit in the waiting room with my 'bag-o-barium'.
So, into the CT room, get on the table, same old routine. Then this 'extra' nurse is in the room. Hmmm....what do you do? Oh, okay, turn on my left side, ok, you're going to count to 3....1, 2, HELLO, 3. She needs to work on her delivery. Anyway, I won't go into the details. They hurried along the scan because they knew I was trying to keep a quart of barium inside. Finished the scan, scooted out of the room in a hurry to find the bathroom.....ahhhhh. Uh, no details.
Now its Thursday, July 10, follow up with Dr. Nelson. He's more upbeat today, second meeting, so as guys, we're 'buds' now. Big smile..."so, you have the CT results. They look...great! Continued response to the treatments. Lesions have reduced another 25% from the last CT so we are moving in the right direction. Labs continue to look great." He changed his position on surgery this time and said he would send a note to the liver guy about surgery. He said the only way to be cured would be to remove the tissue. If we just shrink them with chemo, they'll always be there. I think Dr. Coscio will be back by the time I have my next follow up, and maybe I'll know what the liver dude has to say by then. So this was a very long post, sorry, but catching up with 6 1/2 months...
I am super encouraged by the news. I am progre...oops, responding to the treatments. I learned from my excellent friend who works at MDA, Heather, that in cancer lingo, if you are 'progressing' that's bad, means the cancer is progressing. To express good news, she said you say you are 'responding' to treatments. Thanks Heather!!! Responding, responding, responding....
Did a treatment today...I guess in the spirit of the World Cup, having finished regular time (eight original treatments), extra time (four bonus), I guess we are into penalty kicks. Feel yuck tonight, but not too bad. Looking forward to a better tomorrow. Still don't like having to do the chemo, but I am bound and determined to beat this one again. I have a great family and the best of friends along with me on this ride. I remain positive, there are cancer patients I see when I am in for treatments working much harder than I am to keep ahead of the bad guy and my heart goes out to each of them. I have a great team at the infusion clinic of MDA-Woodland, everyone of them!! So, onward and upward.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Here we go again....
So, it's December, about 2 months after the MRI on the old liver. Historical recap: The tiny spot was now two larger spots....blah, blah, blah, cut to the chase....relapse. Bummer. I have a new oncologist, Dr. Angela Coscio. MD Anderson - St. Lukes. Very smart. Did I mention she has red hair? Tall? Red hair...hmm, where was I ? Any way, she ordered all new tests to find out what was going on. Met with Dr. Coscio yesterday. Confirmed the biopsy was positive for the cancer cells, time to discuss next steps.
Next steps....chemo...this time though, slightly different 'cocktail', mixed specially for this specific cancer cell tissue. The other regimen, FOLFOX6 didn't get it all the last time. No Oxiplaitin this time, so no new neuropathy. Yeah! (still no feeling in my toes) The new chemical might cause acne and maybe some 'digestive distress', but other than that about like the last time, which I tolerated well. Only 8 treatments she says, since they are very targeted. After 4 we'll re-scan to see if the lesions are shrinking (which they should be) then 4 more and then my liver Dr., Aloia, will re-sect the tissue out and I think she said the tiny ones they'll zap with a bit of radiation (that's a bit scary).
So, Merry Christmas to me....Christmas Eve morning, bright and early, head to the hospital to get my shiny new Port installed. Yipee...I was a good boy this year, thank you Santa. So I'll be in GREAT shape for Christmas Day. I was supposed to cook the big Christmas dinner but not sure I'll feel up to it. I guess I'll start my first treatment after Christmas sometime, but before New Year's Day.
Planning a 10-day trip to Korea in March and I asked Dr. Coscio, with her red hair, if she thought I could still take the trip and she said absolutely! She would make it work so that I can be gone for those days. Hope all goes well.
So, there you have it. I'm ready. I have a pretty good idea what to expect. Mentally...let's do this and get it over and done!! I don't plan on slowing down too much, gotta keep busy. I guess I'll try to add to this after the treatments, it helped me the first time, I'm sure it will help this time. I guess I'll talk to ya'll in the New Year. Happy Holidays!!
Friday, October 4, 2013
Happy Birthday to me....October 4, 2013
So, four months since the last entry. I have to admit its been a busy summer and early fall. I have traveled more in the past four months than I can remember. But in a lot of ways that is good. It means I am feeling better. Peripheral neuropathy is still a challenge in the feet, but I have been able to cope with any pain without prescription painkillers. OTC Aleve does the trick. I quit the 'scripts in April. If you remember in my previous blog, I tried going cold turkey. What a mistake. Anyway, that's done. I think I wrote about my puzzling liver thing. Its been pretty depressing thinking I might be going from one success to a new challenge. In April I had ANOTHER biopsy on the same spot on the liver. Like the last time, non-carcenogenic. Took a lot of blood tests and nothing definitive about anything. So my oncologist refered me to a liver specialist. I put off seeing the specialist since May. I was traveling alot and just could not (did not want) find the time.
Thursday, September 26, 2013 - So I decided to go see the specialist. I took all my liver paper work to him. "Hmmm....so you have had two CAT scans..." yes. "two PET scans...." yes. "None cancerous....full blood work for hepatitis A, B and C..." yes "all results negative...." yes. "So, why did you come to see me?" Really? Then, the reason the US health care system is so expensive: "Hmmm....have you had your liver MRI'd?" no. "Why don't we have you get an MRI on the liver and then we will have looked at it completely." So, I go in on Oct 6 (Sunday) for the procedure.
Monday, September 30 - I went for my six-month physical with my GP. It wasn't so good last time. Blood work done and numbers are on the edge, so over the edge. He wants me to see a urologist (you guys out there will know why). Well I didn't go see the urologist. Anyway, go in and the PA gives me a copy of my lab results....dread comes over me...then I read EVERYTHING is within acceptabel ranges...bad chlorestorol is down, good is up, PSA in the normal range, all the numbers looked great! It turned out to be a pretty good day that Monday.
Friday, October 4 - My birthday...Tommy was at work today in my office and took me to lunch, his treat. Came home to McKenzie's Bar-B-Que, which is a special occasion dinner for us. Deanna called from Plano, so it was good day.
Depression and anxiety lurk in the shadows. I feel restless. Just tired...mentally. That was one of the good things about one of the prescribed meds. Without it now I have to work at it all day, every day.
So, MRI this Sunday, follow up with the liver guy on Thursday. We'll see what the tests tell me. Went to Plano last weekend to see the grandson. What a joy. My kids don't remember my Dad much at all. They were so young when he passed.
If anything is worth reporting after my liver follow up this week I'll add to the blog. Take care
So, four months since the last entry. I have to admit its been a busy summer and early fall. I have traveled more in the past four months than I can remember. But in a lot of ways that is good. It means I am feeling better. Peripheral neuropathy is still a challenge in the feet, but I have been able to cope with any pain without prescription painkillers. OTC Aleve does the trick. I quit the 'scripts in April. If you remember in my previous blog, I tried going cold turkey. What a mistake. Anyway, that's done. I think I wrote about my puzzling liver thing. Its been pretty depressing thinking I might be going from one success to a new challenge. In April I had ANOTHER biopsy on the same spot on the liver. Like the last time, non-carcenogenic. Took a lot of blood tests and nothing definitive about anything. So my oncologist refered me to a liver specialist. I put off seeing the specialist since May. I was traveling alot and just could not (did not want) find the time.
Thursday, September 26, 2013 - So I decided to go see the specialist. I took all my liver paper work to him. "Hmmm....so you have had two CAT scans..." yes. "two PET scans...." yes. "None cancerous....full blood work for hepatitis A, B and C..." yes "all results negative...." yes. "So, why did you come to see me?" Really? Then, the reason the US health care system is so expensive: "Hmmm....have you had your liver MRI'd?" no. "Why don't we have you get an MRI on the liver and then we will have looked at it completely." So, I go in on Oct 6 (Sunday) for the procedure.
Monday, September 30 - I went for my six-month physical with my GP. It wasn't so good last time. Blood work done and numbers are on the edge, so over the edge. He wants me to see a urologist (you guys out there will know why). Well I didn't go see the urologist. Anyway, go in and the PA gives me a copy of my lab results....dread comes over me...then I read EVERYTHING is within acceptabel ranges...bad chlorestorol is down, good is up, PSA in the normal range, all the numbers looked great! It turned out to be a pretty good day that Monday.
Friday, October 4 - My birthday...Tommy was at work today in my office and took me to lunch, his treat. Came home to McKenzie's Bar-B-Que, which is a special occasion dinner for us. Deanna called from Plano, so it was good day.
Depression and anxiety lurk in the shadows. I feel restless. Just tired...mentally. That was one of the good things about one of the prescribed meds. Without it now I have to work at it all day, every day.
So, MRI this Sunday, follow up with the liver guy on Thursday. We'll see what the tests tell me. Went to Plano last weekend to see the grandson. What a joy. My kids don't remember my Dad much at all. They were so young when he passed.
If anything is worth reporting after my liver follow up this week I'll add to the blog. Take care
Saturday, May 11, 2013
May 2013....in the homestretch for the two-year mark...
Half of 2013 is almost gone. It has been a busy 5 months. I have been feeling great lately; energy is up, neuropathy is more manageable. So I finally took the needed time to get the PET scan Dr. Baltz wanted me to have. My annual CT scan still had that pesky spot on the liver. It was a little bigger than last time, so he suggested I get a PET to look at it again. So I did the PET, and no surprise, the spot was still there and Doc said I should have another biopsy. Great. Well, I was a little less apprehensive than last year since I had been through it before. Made the appointment and headed to the Star Lobby at Memorial Hermann. Anyone needing outpatient radiology at Memorial knows where I am talking about. Got up early and made my way over to the hospital and filled out the paperwork, paid my copay, and waited. It was kind of slow that morning because I didn't have to wait very long before they called me back. Hmmm....looked very familiar. They put you in a 12 X 9 'stall' with a bed and monitoring equipment. It's outpatient, so you walk in, put on the stylish gown and relax. Soon the nurses start buzzing around. Every time one comes in to do something they ask you your name and birthdate....just to make sure you are the right person. I don't know who would want to fake an identity and go have a liver biopsy on the sly...Any way, I get all hooked up and wait....and wait...The procedure is supposed to be a CT guided biopsy, meaning they use a CT scanner to pinpoint the lesion for the biopsy. They started out in the 'stall' with an ultrasound machine, but the lesion is too small to zero in on and so its off to the CT room. Same drill...tech asks me to verify my name and birthdate. It takes about 20 minutes of different scans for the Dr to pinpoint the spot. They gave me a couple doses of happy juice to make me relax, but not go under...I have to be able to respond to the machine and Dr's instructions. Gave me two or three (can't remember)'numbing' shots at the location...then he was about ready to start. Man, he punched that first needle in and I thought I would pass out even with the happy juice. It was lot more uncomfortable than I remembered. Last time they really juiced me up to where the ceiling tiles were dancing around. Not this time. I could really feel the pressure. With two sample needles in, they ran me inside the CT scanner one last time before taking the samples. The machine tells you to 'breath in'...'hold your breath'...SCAN SCAN....'breath out'. Well, those two needles sticking in the old liver was so uncomfortable I was kind of holding my breath already, and when the machine said to 'breath in', I didn't have much lung capacity to inhale much. OUCH...He took 5 little samples and it was done. He pulled out the needles, put a bandage on the two punctures and that was it. Off to recovery.
Got my call from my Onco (well Donna got the call)and the biopsy showed NO cancer in the samples. Halleluah! I didn't expect to find cancer. And unfortunately I also expected what he did tell me what was going on. So last time, I had a 'fatty liver'...still do. I need to do some more blood work and testing now on the liver. I do not have any of the expected signs or symptoms, so my Onco says I should get with a liver specialist. Great...one more Dr. First thing I know I can do is exercise and lose weight. That can have a dramatic positive affect for the liver. I'm going to try yoga. Ok, chuckle now. That is my goal now, reverse this liver disease.
The other thing I have to do is stop one of the pain medications my GP switched me to. One of the rarer side effects is inflammation to the liver. Great...your liver takes a beating everyday. Everything goes through it and consequently you can damage it fairly easy. I don't drink alcohol, so I don't and won't have that related liver disease. Hoping the exercise regime will reverse this condition. Hopefully the yoga will help with the neuropathy in my feet. It was difficult tonight to go through the poses the instructor was doing because a lot of the poses require the strength of your feet for balance. I still can't feel my toes and its pretty uncomfortable bending my toes like the instructor wants.
But I'm determined to do it. By August, my two year anniversary off chemo, I want to be down significantly in weight and up just as much with flexibility and strength. I get angry thinking about the colon cancer and what it has done to me. I am grateful nothing has shown up in two years, but the side effects have been maddening. The depression it can bring really takes it out of you. But I press on. Life goes on. My little grandson is getting bigger and I love to spend time with him. My kids never knew my Dad very well, he died when they were young. I want to be around for the grand children from all of my kids.
If you still read this blog every once in a while, thanks. It helps me get balanced. Life is hard enough without physical challenges. I'll probably add another entry once I see the new doctor about this liver deal.
Got my call from my Onco (well Donna got the call)and the biopsy showed NO cancer in the samples. Halleluah! I didn't expect to find cancer. And unfortunately I also expected what he did tell me what was going on. So last time, I had a 'fatty liver'...still do. I need to do some more blood work and testing now on the liver. I do not have any of the expected signs or symptoms, so my Onco says I should get with a liver specialist. Great...one more Dr. First thing I know I can do is exercise and lose weight. That can have a dramatic positive affect for the liver. I'm going to try yoga. Ok, chuckle now. That is my goal now, reverse this liver disease.
The other thing I have to do is stop one of the pain medications my GP switched me to. One of the rarer side effects is inflammation to the liver. Great...your liver takes a beating everyday. Everything goes through it and consequently you can damage it fairly easy. I don't drink alcohol, so I don't and won't have that related liver disease. Hoping the exercise regime will reverse this condition. Hopefully the yoga will help with the neuropathy in my feet. It was difficult tonight to go through the poses the instructor was doing because a lot of the poses require the strength of your feet for balance. I still can't feel my toes and its pretty uncomfortable bending my toes like the instructor wants.
But I'm determined to do it. By August, my two year anniversary off chemo, I want to be down significantly in weight and up just as much with flexibility and strength. I get angry thinking about the colon cancer and what it has done to me. I am grateful nothing has shown up in two years, but the side effects have been maddening. The depression it can bring really takes it out of you. But I press on. Life goes on. My little grandson is getting bigger and I love to spend time with him. My kids never knew my Dad very well, he died when they were young. I want to be around for the grand children from all of my kids.
If you still read this blog every once in a while, thanks. It helps me get balanced. Life is hard enough without physical challenges. I'll probably add another entry once I see the new doctor about this liver deal.
Monday, December 24, 2012
Two years....and gaining speed...
Christmas Eve
Well, first Christmas that I have felt pretty good since finishing Chemo last year. Not all the way there, but much better. In Plano visiting that little grandson of mine. He is a character...not bragging too much, but reminds me of me when I was his age...though I was too young to remember. I guess I would still be in San Juan, running around San Cristobal Fort, driving my Mom and Dad crazy. First night, Sunday, was a reminder of what it was like when our 4 were little. I was sound asleep, 230 am to be exact when I heard the first whimper....then a little cry....then Deanna coming into the guest bedroom with Mason to nurse him. Plop, right up in bed. Would have been ok except she uses one of the 'white noise' gadgets that makes a 'soothing' background noise to help him sleep. Well the noise was...I guess like a water fall or some sort of rushing water. Don't know how he could sleep through that, but it seemed to work! I laid there while Deanna rocked him in bed....whoosh, splash, water falling over rocks....he stirred a little, I rubbed his little sleepy foot hanging by my head and he settled down...gurgle, splash, whoosh...he finally settled down and I thought, okay, back to sleep. Then Deanna gets up, turns around and puts him in bed right next to me...crash, whoosh, splash...got to keep still so he sleeps...but all that sound of running water....well you know what that does....got to keep still...I control my body...I am in control....whoosh, splash...Deanna comes back in takes him back to bed, with her 'gadget' and its quiet again...starting to doze off...nope, I gotta get up...all that running water...gotta go!!
Had my check ups, two year anniversary. Earlier, my GP said things looked good. Saw my surgeon two weeks ago...said I looked great. I had called his office to schedule my annual 'scope, since I hadn't heard from him. The admin asked if I had received a letter from them to schedule and I said no, just thought I had to get an annual check. She looked at my records and said I wasn't scheduled until Dec 2013! Wow, I almost volunteered for a colonoscopy. Who does THAT?? Anyway, Doc said because last year's was clear I was on a two year rotation (no pun intended). Whew....Went to the Oncologist last week. He said everything looked great, would see me in 6 months. Still need a PET Scan next month, but just precautionary. Overall, I am pleased with everything for 2012.
For 2013, lose some more weight and get off BP medication. Neuropathy in my feet is still a problem, but getting used to it...sort of. Depression pops up every once in a while, but I fight through it.
Max Update...buddy Max and I have the routine down now. He is still under observation with Dr. Rainbow every two to three weeks. Still putting drops in his good eye and measuring the ocular pressures. Doc wants to get to the point of long term maintenance medications. Should be 3 or 4 more visits until he is comfortable with the maintenance plan. Otherwise, Max is doing great. His glass eye looks like it will settle into a gray color, but it doesn't seem to bother him. Peripheral vision of course is gone and he does get startled from things coming from his left side, but that will become easier.
Colleague of mine at work had some major surgery last week. Heart thing. He's in his mid 30s....MID 30s! Seems like everything went well. He came to talk to me before his surgery. Said he thought I could relate to the shock of hearing about a major health scare and how it resets your priorities. He has small kids and he said his life is more about his family now and work will find its way. I told him you gain a whole new perspective when faced with your own mortality. You are never the same. Never. Every ache, pain, bruise, or bump worries you. You are never at ease.
I am looking forward to 2013, both for the family and my work. We have some big goals for work and I am glad to be healthy enough to do my part. We have our challenges, but its my other family and I care about them. My immediate family, big plans as well...or at least that's what Donna tells me. I have gotten smarter as I have aged. Donna is smarter than me in a lot of ways when it comes to running this family. Looking forward to spending good times with Mason and all my kids and in-laws. Here's hoping for the best to all my friends and family in the new year!!
Well, first Christmas that I have felt pretty good since finishing Chemo last year. Not all the way there, but much better. In Plano visiting that little grandson of mine. He is a character...not bragging too much, but reminds me of me when I was his age...though I was too young to remember. I guess I would still be in San Juan, running around San Cristobal Fort, driving my Mom and Dad crazy. First night, Sunday, was a reminder of what it was like when our 4 were little. I was sound asleep, 230 am to be exact when I heard the first whimper....then a little cry....then Deanna coming into the guest bedroom with Mason to nurse him. Plop, right up in bed. Would have been ok except she uses one of the 'white noise' gadgets that makes a 'soothing' background noise to help him sleep. Well the noise was...I guess like a water fall or some sort of rushing water. Don't know how he could sleep through that, but it seemed to work! I laid there while Deanna rocked him in bed....whoosh, splash, water falling over rocks....he stirred a little, I rubbed his little sleepy foot hanging by my head and he settled down...gurgle, splash, whoosh...he finally settled down and I thought, okay, back to sleep. Then Deanna gets up, turns around and puts him in bed right next to me...crash, whoosh, splash...got to keep still so he sleeps...but all that sound of running water....well you know what that does....got to keep still...I control my body...I am in control....whoosh, splash...Deanna comes back in takes him back to bed, with her 'gadget' and its quiet again...starting to doze off...nope, I gotta get up...all that running water...gotta go!!
Had my check ups, two year anniversary. Earlier, my GP said things looked good. Saw my surgeon two weeks ago...said I looked great. I had called his office to schedule my annual 'scope, since I hadn't heard from him. The admin asked if I had received a letter from them to schedule and I said no, just thought I had to get an annual check. She looked at my records and said I wasn't scheduled until Dec 2013! Wow, I almost volunteered for a colonoscopy. Who does THAT?? Anyway, Doc said because last year's was clear I was on a two year rotation (no pun intended). Whew....Went to the Oncologist last week. He said everything looked great, would see me in 6 months. Still need a PET Scan next month, but just precautionary. Overall, I am pleased with everything for 2012.
For 2013, lose some more weight and get off BP medication. Neuropathy in my feet is still a problem, but getting used to it...sort of. Depression pops up every once in a while, but I fight through it.
Max Update...buddy Max and I have the routine down now. He is still under observation with Dr. Rainbow every two to three weeks. Still putting drops in his good eye and measuring the ocular pressures. Doc wants to get to the point of long term maintenance medications. Should be 3 or 4 more visits until he is comfortable with the maintenance plan. Otherwise, Max is doing great. His glass eye looks like it will settle into a gray color, but it doesn't seem to bother him. Peripheral vision of course is gone and he does get startled from things coming from his left side, but that will become easier.
Colleague of mine at work had some major surgery last week. Heart thing. He's in his mid 30s....MID 30s! Seems like everything went well. He came to talk to me before his surgery. Said he thought I could relate to the shock of hearing about a major health scare and how it resets your priorities. He has small kids and he said his life is more about his family now and work will find its way. I told him you gain a whole new perspective when faced with your own mortality. You are never the same. Never. Every ache, pain, bruise, or bump worries you. You are never at ease.
I am looking forward to 2013, both for the family and my work. We have some big goals for work and I am glad to be healthy enough to do my part. We have our challenges, but its my other family and I care about them. My immediate family, big plans as well...or at least that's what Donna tells me. I have gotten smarter as I have aged. Donna is smarter than me in a lot of ways when it comes to running this family. Looking forward to spending good times with Mason and all my kids and in-laws. Here's hoping for the best to all my friends and family in the new year!!
Monday, October 15, 2012
There's more to this life than just me...
I had another birthday earlier this month, made it to 57. The years don't mean much anymore. You are only as old as you feel...or something like that. I want to be 30-something again...I think. Anyway, getting closer to another anniversary to this blog. Neuropathy isn't any better, pretty discouraging. But like I titled today's entry, "There's more to this life than just me..." Lost a friend earlier this month to cancer. We met him and his wife just one time in Roseville, CA a few years back when Tommy was finishing up his church missionary work. We shared a meal and some stories about Tommy growing up. They only knew the smart young missionary that came into their home. When we left they knew a little bit more about him. It was a couple years later we read the news that Larry had cancer and the prognosis was not good. But he endured, and his sweetheart helped him along his journey. It was sad to hear he was gone. I never had it as bad as he did, for that I am grateful, but I thought about him everyday since he was diagnosed and everyday since I was able to finish my chemo.
Went to my General Physician last month for my first physical. Hurrah, everything looked good to him. Cholesterol numbers are coming down. He looked at the biopsy from last spring and was confident as well that it was nothing to worry about. (Easy for the Drs to say, isn't it?) He switched my medication to cope with the neuropathy. It was a big change getting used to it, but I think I'm settled into it now.
Grandson Mason is growing up!! Started walking...showing off!! Not only did he find his toes before me, he walks better than his old grandpa!
Two weeks ago, my life took another turn. This time it had absolutely nothing to do with me or my health. My best buddy, Max (my dog)started to have difficulty seeing the treats we were giving him. He used to be good at catching ice cubes and crunching them up. But all of a sudden he would just let the ice cube hit the ground and he would be looking all over for it. We took him to the vet and was diagnosed with glaucoma! In both eyes and in fact his left eye was already blind. We had emergency surgery to save his right eye, but we lost the left one. I think he has limited vision in the right eye.
Now we have a ritual, twice a day....he gets to sit in the big easy chair (once TABOO for dogs!!) while I put 6 different eye drops in his good eye. At first we had to muzzle him because he didn't like us being around his face so much. But now that he knows what I am doing, he lays down and patiently waits as I put one drop in, wait 5 minutes, put the next drop in, wait 5 more minutes, until all six drops are in. Can you imagine a child sitting still for 30 minutes, no complaints? That's Max. I think about Max all day long. I had to make the decision to remove the blind eye and put in the glass prosthetic eye. I wondered if he was upset with me. Anyway, this is what I meant by titling this "there's more to this life than just me..." Max needs me, for now. He will recover from the surgery, but he will go blind, eventually. There is no stopping glaucoma. I spend my time with him making him as comfortable and loved as I can.
Takes my mind off of my numb toes and aching feet. I get through these days looking forward to taking care of Max.
I had another birthday earlier this month, made it to 57. The years don't mean much anymore. You are only as old as you feel...or something like that. I want to be 30-something again...I think. Anyway, getting closer to another anniversary to this blog. Neuropathy isn't any better, pretty discouraging. But like I titled today's entry, "There's more to this life than just me..." Lost a friend earlier this month to cancer. We met him and his wife just one time in Roseville, CA a few years back when Tommy was finishing up his church missionary work. We shared a meal and some stories about Tommy growing up. They only knew the smart young missionary that came into their home. When we left they knew a little bit more about him. It was a couple years later we read the news that Larry had cancer and the prognosis was not good. But he endured, and his sweetheart helped him along his journey. It was sad to hear he was gone. I never had it as bad as he did, for that I am grateful, but I thought about him everyday since he was diagnosed and everyday since I was able to finish my chemo.
Went to my General Physician last month for my first physical. Hurrah, everything looked good to him. Cholesterol numbers are coming down. He looked at the biopsy from last spring and was confident as well that it was nothing to worry about. (Easy for the Drs to say, isn't it?) He switched my medication to cope with the neuropathy. It was a big change getting used to it, but I think I'm settled into it now.
Grandson Mason is growing up!! Started walking...showing off!! Not only did he find his toes before me, he walks better than his old grandpa!
Two weeks ago, my life took another turn. This time it had absolutely nothing to do with me or my health. My best buddy, Max (my dog)started to have difficulty seeing the treats we were giving him. He used to be good at catching ice cubes and crunching them up. But all of a sudden he would just let the ice cube hit the ground and he would be looking all over for it. We took him to the vet and was diagnosed with glaucoma! In both eyes and in fact his left eye was already blind. We had emergency surgery to save his right eye, but we lost the left one. I think he has limited vision in the right eye.
Now we have a ritual, twice a day....he gets to sit in the big easy chair (once TABOO for dogs!!) while I put 6 different eye drops in his good eye. At first we had to muzzle him because he didn't like us being around his face so much. But now that he knows what I am doing, he lays down and patiently waits as I put one drop in, wait 5 minutes, put the next drop in, wait 5 more minutes, until all six drops are in. Can you imagine a child sitting still for 30 minutes, no complaints? That's Max. I think about Max all day long. I had to make the decision to remove the blind eye and put in the glass prosthetic eye. I wondered if he was upset with me. Anyway, this is what I meant by titling this "there's more to this life than just me..." Max needs me, for now. He will recover from the surgery, but he will go blind, eventually. There is no stopping glaucoma. I spend my time with him making him as comfortable and loved as I can.
Takes my mind off of my numb toes and aching feet. I get through these days looking forward to taking care of Max.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
One Year Post Chemo
Saturday - August 4, 2012
Whew....one year...well, almost. It is Mason's 1 year birthday (my sweet grandson!!) today. My last treatment was August 7 2011. It seems like a lifetime ago. I honestly don't remember much about last year and what I do remember, I don't remember very clearly. My great friend Lynn called it 'chemo brain'. Friends, it is a real side effect!! What I think really happens is that half my brain is consumed with worrying about every ache or pain as being somehow related to the cancer, despite the fact that my doctor gave me a clean bill of health earlier this year. It doesn't help that I still have terrible neuropathy in my feet and legs. Its like sitting cross-legged on the floor and your foot falls asleep? Then you try to get up and walk and your foot and leg tingle...but eventually you get the feeling back. Well, the feeling doesn't come back for me. I never really gave it much thought how much you depend on your feet to stand. Well, I mean stand in a stable manner. Getting out of the shower with wet numb feet....well let's say I've hit the tiles on my behind several times. Glad I didn't hit my head and have to have my family find me spread out on the floor in the old birthday suit!!! Not a pleasant vision, sorry.
Let's take life one day at a time and not make such a big deal about the little stuff. We are all imperfect...that's what makes us who we are. Appreciate what you do have and give your kids an extra hug every once in a while. They'll look at you strangely, but that doesn't matter. You know why you did it. More again when I can remember what to write!!
Whew....one year...well, almost. It is Mason's 1 year birthday (my sweet grandson!!) today. My last treatment was August 7 2011. It seems like a lifetime ago. I honestly don't remember much about last year and what I do remember, I don't remember very clearly. My great friend Lynn called it 'chemo brain'. Friends, it is a real side effect!! What I think really happens is that half my brain is consumed with worrying about every ache or pain as being somehow related to the cancer, despite the fact that my doctor gave me a clean bill of health earlier this year. It doesn't help that I still have terrible neuropathy in my feet and legs. Its like sitting cross-legged on the floor and your foot falls asleep? Then you try to get up and walk and your foot and leg tingle...but eventually you get the feeling back. Well, the feeling doesn't come back for me. I never really gave it much thought how much you depend on your feet to stand. Well, I mean stand in a stable manner. Getting out of the shower with wet numb feet....well let's say I've hit the tiles on my behind several times. Glad I didn't hit my head and have to have my family find me spread out on the floor in the old birthday suit!!! Not a pleasant vision, sorry.
Let's take life one day at a time and not make such a big deal about the little stuff. We are all imperfect...that's what makes us who we are. Appreciate what you do have and give your kids an extra hug every once in a while. They'll look at you strangely, but that doesn't matter. You know why you did it. More again when I can remember what to write!!
Monday, June 25, 2012
Monday - June 25, 2012 - A Sigh of Relief Today
In my last posting, I told you I had a chest x-ray and CT scan done as a routine event. The CT scan showed a very small spot on the top of my liver. Great...what now? It wasn't there before my surgery and after 6 months of chemo....how could this happen? Doc wanted me to get a PET Scan to take a more detailed look. Did that....yep, something's there, but the Doc still has nothing definitive and suggests I have the spot biopsied to know once and for all.
Friday, June 15 - Well, today I went in for the procedure...not too excited at all about someone sticking a needle into me to extract a piece of my liver. A liver I've had all my life...one that I have grown very attached to....all of it. I was not so sure I wanted to give up even a sliver of my liver (hmmm...that rhymes doesn't it?) Anyway, the day arrived and the radiologist comes in and says "Wow, it's pretty small...its on the top of your liver right by your diaphragm. I sure don't want to puncture your lung." Well, I have to say I was right there with him on that one!! So this was a CT guided biopsy, which means he would position the biopsy needle with the help of a CT scanner. After looking at my PET scan a bit more he decided, what the heck, let's go for it!! Not really, he didn't say that, he said he was confident he had enough room in there to be safe. It would have been scary if he DID say "what the heck, let's go for it!"
So we wheel into the exam room and slip into the CT scanner. The nurse asks how I'm doing. Great I say...she says "here's a little something to make it easier". Hmmm...I don't feel anything....she says "no? How about now? Is the ceiling crawling like an alligator?" I don't know if it looked like an alligator, but it sure was dancing around!!! Demorol, the magic potion. So I'm laying there, the Doc is doing something around my rib cage, I guess, then I feel him sort of push hard. Says "okay, let's take some pictures." He uses the CT scanner to 'guide' the placement of the biopsy needle. So he pokes it in, takes a picture, looks at the picture, comes out, adjusts the needle, takes another picture....you get the drift. He finally comes out and says, "okay let's biopsy this. Hold your breath...CLACK...he pulls a plastic-like trigger. Hold your breath....CLACK....one more....CLACK. Okay, relax. He comes back out, pokes again, then hard push. More pictures, more looks, then CLACK....CLACK. Okay, you did great. How do you feel? You're all done. Good job.
And that...is a biopsy. Not too bad...with my good friend Demorol. Back in recovery, the nurse shows me a little glass jar with five little 'threads'. The biopsied liver tissue. Now we wait for the pathologist to read the samples and report to Dr. Baltz.
Monday, June 25 - The longest week goes by...an even longer weekend...time to see Dr. Baltz. They call my name...I go back and they take my weight...no change, darn it! Baltz walks by, pats me on the shoulder and says "Hey, it was negative! Go into the office and let's talk." NEGATIVE. Not cancer! Halleluah! Just a fatty liver. Not the best news, but treatable and normal life ahead. So, there you have it. Another PET scan in 6 months! Looking forward to spending time with my grandchildren!!
Your life is never the same when you are faced with life altering health issues. I am just grateful for my family and friends. Its never too late to clean up your life and eat smart and live a few days longer. I'll blog again with any updates. Take care all.
In my last posting, I told you I had a chest x-ray and CT scan done as a routine event. The CT scan showed a very small spot on the top of my liver. Great...what now? It wasn't there before my surgery and after 6 months of chemo....how could this happen? Doc wanted me to get a PET Scan to take a more detailed look. Did that....yep, something's there, but the Doc still has nothing definitive and suggests I have the spot biopsied to know once and for all.
Friday, June 15 - Well, today I went in for the procedure...not too excited at all about someone sticking a needle into me to extract a piece of my liver. A liver I've had all my life...one that I have grown very attached to....all of it. I was not so sure I wanted to give up even a sliver of my liver (hmmm...that rhymes doesn't it?) Anyway, the day arrived and the radiologist comes in and says "Wow, it's pretty small...its on the top of your liver right by your diaphragm. I sure don't want to puncture your lung." Well, I have to say I was right there with him on that one!! So this was a CT guided biopsy, which means he would position the biopsy needle with the help of a CT scanner. After looking at my PET scan a bit more he decided, what the heck, let's go for it!! Not really, he didn't say that, he said he was confident he had enough room in there to be safe. It would have been scary if he DID say "what the heck, let's go for it!"
So we wheel into the exam room and slip into the CT scanner. The nurse asks how I'm doing. Great I say...she says "here's a little something to make it easier". Hmmm...I don't feel anything....she says "no? How about now? Is the ceiling crawling like an alligator?" I don't know if it looked like an alligator, but it sure was dancing around!!! Demorol, the magic potion. So I'm laying there, the Doc is doing something around my rib cage, I guess, then I feel him sort of push hard. Says "okay, let's take some pictures." He uses the CT scanner to 'guide' the placement of the biopsy needle. So he pokes it in, takes a picture, looks at the picture, comes out, adjusts the needle, takes another picture....you get the drift. He finally comes out and says, "okay let's biopsy this. Hold your breath...CLACK...he pulls a plastic-like trigger. Hold your breath....CLACK....one more....CLACK. Okay, relax. He comes back out, pokes again, then hard push. More pictures, more looks, then CLACK....CLACK. Okay, you did great. How do you feel? You're all done. Good job.
And that...is a biopsy. Not too bad...with my good friend Demorol. Back in recovery, the nurse shows me a little glass jar with five little 'threads'. The biopsied liver tissue. Now we wait for the pathologist to read the samples and report to Dr. Baltz.
Monday, June 25 - The longest week goes by...an even longer weekend...time to see Dr. Baltz. They call my name...I go back and they take my weight...no change, darn it! Baltz walks by, pats me on the shoulder and says "Hey, it was negative! Go into the office and let's talk." NEGATIVE. Not cancer! Halleluah! Just a fatty liver. Not the best news, but treatable and normal life ahead. So, there you have it. Another PET scan in 6 months! Looking forward to spending time with my grandchildren!!
Your life is never the same when you are faced with life altering health issues. I am just grateful for my family and friends. Its never too late to clean up your life and eat smart and live a few days longer. I'll blog again with any updates. Take care all.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Sunday - May 27, 2012 Nine Months Post Chemo
Sunday - May 27, 2012 Fast approaching nine months post chemo. This week I finally went in for my follow up chest x-ray and CT Scan. Dr. Balz wanted me to get these for the medical files. Funny how everything past the initial diagnosis makes you paranoid that every ache and pain is something worse than it might be. I've had a pain in my shoulder for the longest time. Gets worse as I sit at my desk at work at the computer. I am sure its all ergonomics. But my paranoia says its cancer. Bone cancer. Breast cancer. Something bad. Depression keeps creeping in as the neuropathy in my feet continues. Each day I wake up hoping this is the day that the pain will subside and the feeling will come back to my toes.
My travel schedule has increased since my co-worker was diagnosed with his cancer over the Christmas Holidays. He's on his final treatment and the Dr says things are looking good. He may have to do some radiation therapy afterwards. Everyone has challenges in this life, but you just have to take them head on if you can. The best post chemo therapy I have had has been the birth of our first grandson, Mason. Its wonderful how a little spirit comes into your life and gives you a new meaning for fighting on. I have a lot of plans with that little guy and the children that will come after him.
Travelling again this week. Another one of those cross country trips...DC on Tuesday and Wednesday, then on to Puerto Rico on Thursday, home on Sunday. I love to travel...hate to have to run through airports. When I get back its follow up appointments with Balz and Newton. Hope everything continues going well and my x-ray and CT are clear. I'll update with any news. Happy Memorial Day.
My travel schedule has increased since my co-worker was diagnosed with his cancer over the Christmas Holidays. He's on his final treatment and the Dr says things are looking good. He may have to do some radiation therapy afterwards. Everyone has challenges in this life, but you just have to take them head on if you can. The best post chemo therapy I have had has been the birth of our first grandson, Mason. Its wonderful how a little spirit comes into your life and gives you a new meaning for fighting on. I have a lot of plans with that little guy and the children that will come after him.
Travelling again this week. Another one of those cross country trips...DC on Tuesday and Wednesday, then on to Puerto Rico on Thursday, home on Sunday. I love to travel...hate to have to run through airports. When I get back its follow up appointments with Balz and Newton. Hope everything continues going well and my x-ray and CT are clear. I'll update with any news. Happy Memorial Day.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Thursday - December 15, 2011 "All right Mr. DeMille. I'm ready for my close-up."
December 15, 2011 - Four months post-chemo.
Okay, about four months and a week or so, but who's counting? Had my big photo shoot today!! Wow. Spent all yesterday afternoon and evening 'prepping' for my appointment with the 'little' camera. I wanted to look my best so I went on a strict light diet about 5 days ago, way earlier than they suggest, but I thought 'hey, I put on a few pounds from Thanksgiving and our trip to Seattle, it can't hurt!!' So I started Saturday and by Wednesday afternoon...I....was....HUNGRY!!! Every commercial was about food it seemed like. I was watching some of the Christmas stories on TV with Santa and his reindeer, and I was thinking, 'I wonder what reindeer steaks would taste like??' Scott is home from his missionary service and trying to get back into the swing of life, stopped by Chipotle yesterday and brought a burrito home....right at the height of my 'all liquids diet'. Kids...gotta love 'em!!
Got up early today, showered, shaved, and made sure my hair was combed just right. Even though the doctor and his camera were going to be situated...eh hem...a bit further south. Anyway, enough with this. My 'procedure' was a 100% success! Dr. Newton, my gastro surgeon who did my resection last year said everything 'up there' looked great. I am sure he was also bragging about HIS stitchery, but that's okay. He said he saw nothing new developing so I was good to go!!
I have truly been blessed through this part of the ordeal. I feel great and looking forward to a great new year. All the kids and the new grandson will be here for Christmas, first time in 2 years. My 81 year old mom, and my brother and some of his family are coming over from San Antonio. What a great time of year.
My thoughts and prayers are for the many others struggling with cancer, from our good friend to those we don't know. This has been an eye opener for me. As I have said before, priorities in my life are changed now. I concentrate on the more important aspects of my life....my family and my friends. I still love my job, and I am SUPER PSYCHED about my Puerto Rico Project, but I won't let those overshadow the importance my family is to me.
I hope to continue on this healthful path and will contribute my thoughts here along the way. Thank you my friends. If you read this blog, you are my friend. Thank you. Happy Holidays.
Okay, about four months and a week or so, but who's counting? Had my big photo shoot today!! Wow. Spent all yesterday afternoon and evening 'prepping' for my appointment with the 'little' camera. I wanted to look my best so I went on a strict light diet about 5 days ago, way earlier than they suggest, but I thought 'hey, I put on a few pounds from Thanksgiving and our trip to Seattle, it can't hurt!!' So I started Saturday and by Wednesday afternoon...I....was....HUNGRY!!! Every commercial was about food it seemed like. I was watching some of the Christmas stories on TV with Santa and his reindeer, and I was thinking, 'I wonder what reindeer steaks would taste like??' Scott is home from his missionary service and trying to get back into the swing of life, stopped by Chipotle yesterday and brought a burrito home....right at the height of my 'all liquids diet'. Kids...gotta love 'em!!
Got up early today, showered, shaved, and made sure my hair was combed just right. Even though the doctor and his camera were going to be situated...eh hem...a bit further south. Anyway, enough with this. My 'procedure' was a 100% success! Dr. Newton, my gastro surgeon who did my resection last year said everything 'up there' looked great. I am sure he was also bragging about HIS stitchery, but that's okay. He said he saw nothing new developing so I was good to go!!
I have truly been blessed through this part of the ordeal. I feel great and looking forward to a great new year. All the kids and the new grandson will be here for Christmas, first time in 2 years. My 81 year old mom, and my brother and some of his family are coming over from San Antonio. What a great time of year.
My thoughts and prayers are for the many others struggling with cancer, from our good friend to those we don't know. This has been an eye opener for me. As I have said before, priorities in my life are changed now. I concentrate on the more important aspects of my life....my family and my friends. I still love my job, and I am SUPER PSYCHED about my Puerto Rico Project, but I won't let those overshadow the importance my family is to me.
I hope to continue on this healthful path and will contribute my thoughts here along the way. Thank you my friends. If you read this blog, you are my friend. Thank you. Happy Holidays.
Friday, October 28, 2011
Friday, October 28, 2011 - Three Months Post Chemo
Friday, October 28, 2011 -- Well, nearly 3 mos post-chemo....another week and it will be 3 mos, but who's counting? Neuropathy is still a problem...but I think getting better. Fingers are coming along fine. Feet....well that's another story. I think my little grandson will find his toes before I do....sigh, the circle of life. Speaking of the little guy...he's getting big! But then again one would expect that!!
Had my three month check up with Onco and gastro surgeon. It's good to finish a Dr's checkup with him saying 'well, you look great! See you in another 3 months!!' I am truly blessed to have the recovery I have had and the continued improving health. My surgeon said the incisions look great....overall great....so when do you want to do the colonoscopy? I said "great...." Hard to imagine, but I am actually NOT nervous and looking forward to great results. I know what to expect now, as far as the prep work, drinking that lovely kool-aid....then the lovely after affects...very refreshing. I'll start my clear liquids diet really early. Maybe I'll lose some of the extra pounds that have come back after my treatments. Twenty pounds by December 6!!!
Had a couple visits to an accupressurist (sp?) this month. Interesting. Great massage. Not sure about the 'energy flow' out my finger tips and toes. But keeping an open mind.....great massage....mmmmmmmm.I'm gonna look into yoga maybe...tai chi...something.
The neuropathy works on your mind as much as it does affecting your feet and hands. Some days you think you are going to go out of your mind. I park in the handicap spot at work. It's very nice not having to walk long distances. Its difficult to explain to your co-workers coming in. They don't understand how 'sore feet' can warrant a handicap placard. Believe me, if I didn't need it I would park at the farthest end of the parking garage and walk in. Okay, not really. I would like to NOT have neuropathy for sure, but even if it went away tomorrow I'd still park as close as possible. I'm honest!
Hmmm....11:45 pm. the neurontin is kicking in...I'll blog again after the 'scope and let everybody know 'what's up my ......"
Had my three month check up with Onco and gastro surgeon. It's good to finish a Dr's checkup with him saying 'well, you look great! See you in another 3 months!!' I am truly blessed to have the recovery I have had and the continued improving health. My surgeon said the incisions look great....overall great....so when do you want to do the colonoscopy? I said "great...." Hard to imagine, but I am actually NOT nervous and looking forward to great results. I know what to expect now, as far as the prep work, drinking that lovely kool-aid....then the lovely after affects...very refreshing. I'll start my clear liquids diet really early. Maybe I'll lose some of the extra pounds that have come back after my treatments. Twenty pounds by December 6!!!
Had a couple visits to an accupressurist (sp?) this month. Interesting. Great massage. Not sure about the 'energy flow' out my finger tips and toes. But keeping an open mind.....great massage....mmmmmmmm.I'm gonna look into yoga maybe...tai chi...something.
The neuropathy works on your mind as much as it does affecting your feet and hands. Some days you think you are going to go out of your mind. I park in the handicap spot at work. It's very nice not having to walk long distances. Its difficult to explain to your co-workers coming in. They don't understand how 'sore feet' can warrant a handicap placard. Believe me, if I didn't need it I would park at the farthest end of the parking garage and walk in. Okay, not really. I would like to NOT have neuropathy for sure, but even if it went away tomorrow I'd still park as close as possible. I'm honest!
Hmmm....11:45 pm. the neurontin is kicking in...I'll blog again after the 'scope and let everybody know 'what's up my ......"
Friday, October 7, 2011
October 7, 2011 Two months Post Chemo
Friday, October 7, 2011 - Well, two months have past since ending chemo. About 3 weeks since they removed the porta-cath. Scar is looking good, still sore sometimes. My birthday was this week. This one I guess meant more to me than some of the others....for a couple reasons. One, I guess the obvious, I made it through chemo therapy...two, I have a new grandson. So it has been a pretty good birthday. Oh yeah, last month I was able to see Scott in Washington. That made my whole year. I sat down and talked to him about the cancer and the treatments and how I was doing now and how I was looking forward to him coming home in December and maybe consider going back to school in January here in Texas.....hmmm....nah, I want to go back to Virginia. So much for the love of a child.....ha ha. Really though we are excited for him to go where he will do the best.
Neuropathy is really kicking my behind. My hands/fingers are getting better (not 100%) but my feet are really not any better that I can tell. I have been going to an accupressure person (I guess that's what you call them). Press here....rub here....POUND on my back....rub my neck...walk on my feet and legs....VERY relaxing....I do feel great afterwards....not my feet...but everywhere else. Learned some breathing exercises (she teaches yoga too) to relax. So all in all, not so bad. I am waiting for the day that I wake up in the morning, put my feet on the floor and voila!!! I can feel the carpet with my toes!!!! Not yet though. Take my neurontin at night and it helps... When I was coming home from Alaska last month I sat next to an accuPUNCTURIST (as opposed to an accuPRESSURE person). I talk to him about the neuropathy and he told me how he would treat it. He was attending a conference of accupuncturists in Houston and said if he could identify a good one near where I lived he would get in touch. Haven't heard from him....I'll stick with my accupressure person.
I have started walking on my treadmill at least a mile a day, trying to work off the weight I put back on after chemo. A little tough with numb feet, but I am determined. I want to lose 20 lbs by the time we go to Seattle to pick up Scott. I can do it (if Katherine will stop bringing chocolate cake home!!)
I got a message from a friend in California diagnosed with colon cancer last year as well, although much more serious than mine. So serious, my ordeal pales next to his. I heard from his wife that he is doing so much better, back to 'normal'....post chemo, I don't remember what normal is. Just so happy he is doing better. Steve Jobs died this week. He was 56. I just turned 56.......makes you think....but he had such a sense about his own mortality that was refreshing....he said:
"If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.' It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?'" And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."
I am no where near the genius Jobs was. But his words inspired me. I will live each day as it was my last, someday it will be. In my work and with my family, I will do my best for them. And for my friends, I will treat with the utmost respect for I want to be remembered as a good friend. I plan on being around for another 30+ years and I want to live those years the best I can. Hopefully the feeling will come back to my toes before the end!!!!
Thanks for reading. I'll keep writing for a bit longer. Take care.
Neuropathy is really kicking my behind. My hands/fingers are getting better (not 100%) but my feet are really not any better that I can tell. I have been going to an accupressure person (I guess that's what you call them). Press here....rub here....POUND on my back....rub my neck...walk on my feet and legs....VERY relaxing....I do feel great afterwards....not my feet...but everywhere else. Learned some breathing exercises (she teaches yoga too) to relax. So all in all, not so bad. I am waiting for the day that I wake up in the morning, put my feet on the floor and voila!!! I can feel the carpet with my toes!!!! Not yet though. Take my neurontin at night and it helps... When I was coming home from Alaska last month I sat next to an accuPUNCTURIST (as opposed to an accuPRESSURE person). I talk to him about the neuropathy and he told me how he would treat it. He was attending a conference of accupuncturists in Houston and said if he could identify a good one near where I lived he would get in touch. Haven't heard from him....I'll stick with my accupressure person.
I have started walking on my treadmill at least a mile a day, trying to work off the weight I put back on after chemo. A little tough with numb feet, but I am determined. I want to lose 20 lbs by the time we go to Seattle to pick up Scott. I can do it (if Katherine will stop bringing chocolate cake home!!)
I got a message from a friend in California diagnosed with colon cancer last year as well, although much more serious than mine. So serious, my ordeal pales next to his. I heard from his wife that he is doing so much better, back to 'normal'....post chemo, I don't remember what normal is. Just so happy he is doing better. Steve Jobs died this week. He was 56. I just turned 56.......makes you think....but he had such a sense about his own mortality that was refreshing....he said:
"If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.' It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?'" And whenever the answer has been no for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something." "Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose."
I am no where near the genius Jobs was. But his words inspired me. I will live each day as it was my last, someday it will be. In my work and with my family, I will do my best for them. And for my friends, I will treat with the utmost respect for I want to be remembered as a good friend. I plan on being around for another 30+ years and I want to live those years the best I can. Hopefully the feeling will come back to my toes before the end!!!!
Thanks for reading. I'll keep writing for a bit longer. Take care.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
September 14, 2011 So long 'nubby'!
September 14, 2011 - Wednesday. Just a quick entry to the blog just because its a bit of a milestone for me. Fasting now, getting ready for the minor outpatient surgery in the morning to take out my 'nubby' (ala 'Friends' character Chandler and his third nipple....he called it his 'nubby'.) Anyway, I get the Porta-cath removed tomorrow. The last remnant (besides the neuropathy @#!)of my chemo.
It took 20 minutes to put it in, hopefully it will be quicker taking it out. I will be glad when I can take a shower and not see that lump in my chest! It has been a long road so far.
So, off to bed, up early, 'nubby' gone by 9 am! Tomorrow will be a great day.
It took 20 minutes to put it in, hopefully it will be quicker taking it out. I will be glad when I can take a shower and not see that lump in my chest! It has been a long road so far.
So, off to bed, up early, 'nubby' gone by 9 am! Tomorrow will be a great day.
Friday, September 9, 2011
September 9, 2011 Save the Date
Friday, September 9 - Wow! It's almost over. Got the call yesterday (actually, they called Donna's cell) from the surgical center scheduling me for the procedure to take the Porta-Cath out of my chest. Hoooray! It was Labor Day weekend last weekend and Monday was a holiday. I couldn't get my lab work done on Monday; lab was closed. So Tuesday, I was the first one through the doors at the lab. In and out in 15 minutes!! Wednesday....call Dr. Baltze's office to tell them I had the lab work done. They said they would look for it and write the surgical orders and give me a call. Takes me to Thursday and that call. Donna was leaving for her trip up the Interstate to Dallas to rescue Deanna (new Mom) and see our new little grandson, Mason. I was following her and all of sudden she pulls into the Shell gas station. Uh oh I thought. She's in the new car....what could be wrong? I pulled along side and she rolled down the window and said the surgical center called her and asked her when I wanted to get the procedure done. Thursday, 7:30 am....come fasting. Looking back it reminded me when I got the call from the 'other ' surgical center that I could come NOW for my prep work for my colon surgery. Seems like a lifetime ago.
The neuropathy is really getting on my nerves!! Ha ha, a little chemo humor! But I've earned the right to use it. Really, it is getting old. As I sit here and try to type, my finger tips are on fire. Its hard to describe how it feels, its just....awful. Went to the grocery store tonight...my feet were killing me. Awful. It felt like boulders in the soles of my shoes...knives jabbing through my toes. Thank goodness for the handicap placard. I don't think I could have walked to the far end of the parking lot tonight. Neurontin at bedtime helps for most of the next day, but by mid-afternoon its gone and the pain begins. I hope this gets better like everyone says it will. But, despite these challenges I am committed to NOT let this get me down. I am grateful to be healthier now. Grateful for the little things in my life now (Mason included).
Sad and glad day tomorrow as my oldest son and his wife are moving out into their own apartment. I know they are excited to get out again into their own life. Its been a challenge for my daughter-in-law living here. She is very excited.
C'mon Thursday.....
Saturday, September 3, 2011
September 3,2011 - One month post treatment
Saturday, September 3 - Well, coming up on one month post treatment! I can truly say I don't miss the bi-weekly trips to the clinic. Next Tuesday I will do my final lab work and then get the surgical order to remove the Porta-Cath from my chest. That will be a relief. The biggest hurdle now....neuropathy. I am sure any of you reading this that have either gone through this yourself or a family member or friend can relate. The chemo damages the nerves in your extremities (particularly hands and feet). It is extremely frustrating to walk and right now...type!! I had to go to a touch screen Blackberry because I couldn't use the keyboard to text because of the pain. It's funny as I type this blog, I am normally a very fast typer and I'll be flying along here and then look at the screen and say "what was I trying to say there???" My fingers get all messed up typing.
The Doc says the feeling will eventually return, not 100%, but some of it. I can live with that if the treatments took care of the cancer. The pain is sometime unbearable in my feet and fingers. Doc made me get a handicap placard (blue, for 'permanent disability'). Very helpful, but rather humbling to park in the designated parking zone. I don't want to be 'permanently' disabled.
I have a new grandson that makes all the chemo treatments worth it. I have a son coming home this December from 2 years of missionary service in Washington and that makes the chemo treatments worth it. It has been a terribly depressing 6 months but I have kept going. I have maintained as high a level of effort at my work as possible as I did not want to use this illness as an excuse to 'take it easy'. I battle it everyday. I think I'll make it. (After I typed that statement, I backspaced and was going to change it to 'know I'll make it', but changed it back. Because I don't 'know' if I can, but I know I will try.)
I hope the neuropathy passes quickly. I am looking forward to living a nearly normal life for a while longer. Oh yeah...50 and over?? Get 'scoped!!
Monday, August 15, 2011
August 15, 2011 Across the Finish Line
Monday - Done, and done. Well, I can't believe it....Round 12 completed last Friday and its over. Its over...O-VER...Seems like March was a lifetime ago. In a way, it was. Before the surgery in December I had another life. After that it all changed. The last 4 sessions, I have to admit, were easier than the first 8. No Oxaliplatin for the last 4, so the side effects were not as dramatic. I still had to carry my "buddy" with me, and that was bad enough. But now its over. I still have the Port-a-cath in my chest, but I should have that out in about 4 weeks. Once removed I'll really feel better.
Fact remains, I was diagnosed with cancer. One of the most feared things to hear. I know it scared me plenty. I look back at this blog, going back to the beginning and each week was a challenge. Each week seemed like it was an eternity. Each week of treatment I was going to get that 'poke'. I hated it. Still do. I worry about the others I shared those hours in the recliners, hooked up to those bags, dripping poison into our veins. I hope they all make it. I hope I do too.
I don't know what I'll do with myself next Monday morning when I don't have to go to the lab for blood work. (I will go back in about 4 weeks before I get the port removed) So that's it for a while. I guess I'll post with any milestones. I appreciate all of the encouragement from my friends these past 6 months. It really kept me going. If you haven't you're routine 'scope, do it. It could save your life. I know it saved mine.
Fact remains, I was diagnosed with cancer. One of the most feared things to hear. I know it scared me plenty. I look back at this blog, going back to the beginning and each week was a challenge. Each week seemed like it was an eternity. Each week of treatment I was going to get that 'poke'. I hated it. Still do. I worry about the others I shared those hours in the recliners, hooked up to those bags, dripping poison into our veins. I hope they all make it. I hope I do too.
I don't know what I'll do with myself next Monday morning when I don't have to go to the lab for blood work. (I will go back in about 4 weeks before I get the port removed) So that's it for a while. I guess I'll post with any milestones. I appreciate all of the encouragement from my friends these past 6 months. It really kept me going. If you haven't you're routine 'scope, do it. It could save your life. I know it saved mine.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
August 7, 2011 - Sunday Heading to Round 12
Sunday, August 7 - Thought I would take the opportunity to add a little before I start the last treatment. This past 'in-between' week was more challenging than most of the others. First, I didn't travel, which I looked forward to after each treatment. I had a Dr's appointment with Dr. Newton, the surgeon, so I couldn't travel this week. I went to church on Sunday to help with our 5-6 yr old class. I think that was a mistake. A couple of the kids weren't feeling well and Donna said I needed to go home. Since I always listen to her, I went. All was good at the beginning of the week. Wednesday was my Newton appointment, which went well..."see you in 3 months, then we'll schedule your first 'scope' in December." Boy, can't wait for that!!
I went back to work after the appointment and it started. I had a bit of a splitting headache and it didn't go away with Tylenol. So by 3pm I went home and went straight to bed. I thought I might just be tired, but the longer I laid there the worse I felt. I started with a mild fever and topped out at 101. Hmmm....Dr Baltz' instructions were to call if I got a temp. He was on call and I was able to speak directly with him. He said since I was off the Oxiaplatin he wasn't as concerned with the fever as he normally would be and said to take Tylenol and if the fever was still there in the morning I should come to his office.
Fortunately by 11 pm Wednesday night the fever was going down and by morning I was okay, save it being a sore throat and some sinus congestion.
On Thursday, we hit the road for Dallas. Deanna (my oldest daughter)was having her first baby (our first grandchild). Still had the sore throat and sinus pressure. Around 745 that evening, our little grandson joined us here in Texas. What a blessing to be alive to withness that!!! By that evening, I was exhausted and my youngest daughter asked me what that white stuff in my left eye was. I had noticed something in my eye as well, but thought it was just allergies. Eye was a little red, but not too bad, so off to bed.
Next morning, I awoke to a fully crusted, bloodshot eye. Yuk. Donna said "uh oh.....looks like pink eye". Gee, wonder where I might have picked that up? And by the way, looks like a cold sore was forming on the upper lip! Great.
I fought it all day Friday but by Saturday my other eye was getting red and excreting white junk as well. So we found a walk-in clinic to have it checked out. Well....Donna was right, conjunctivitis (pink eye), both eyes now. The Dr was concerned that I was on chemo so he ordered blood work to see if my white blood count was okay. Quick poke and draw and off to the lab. He came back and said all my counts were excellent (my blood pressure was elevated)so he could proceed with an antibiotic eye drop treatment. If my WBCs were elevated he said he would have to put me in the hospital. Thank goodness I didn't have to do that. Well the right eye was getting progressively worse (oh by the way, it was 109 degrees in Dallas everyday this week). I started the eye drops and have seen some slow improvements.
Leaving for Houston later today (Sunday) and get to cooler temperatures (high 90's...that's cooler?). What a week!! But, getting a new grandson makes it all better. Except I have been up since 230 this morning tending to my runny eyes.
I just wanted to add this to my journal so I didn't forget all the trials. This next session will be the last. I'll add to the Blog then. Its now 443 am Sunday...maybe I'll try to nap before I head to Houston....
I went back to work after the appointment and it started. I had a bit of a splitting headache and it didn't go away with Tylenol. So by 3pm I went home and went straight to bed. I thought I might just be tired, but the longer I laid there the worse I felt. I started with a mild fever and topped out at 101. Hmmm....Dr Baltz' instructions were to call if I got a temp. He was on call and I was able to speak directly with him. He said since I was off the Oxiaplatin he wasn't as concerned with the fever as he normally would be and said to take Tylenol and if the fever was still there in the morning I should come to his office.
Fortunately by 11 pm Wednesday night the fever was going down and by morning I was okay, save it being a sore throat and some sinus congestion.
On Thursday, we hit the road for Dallas. Deanna (my oldest daughter)was having her first baby (our first grandchild). Still had the sore throat and sinus pressure. Around 745 that evening, our little grandson joined us here in Texas. What a blessing to be alive to withness that!!! By that evening, I was exhausted and my youngest daughter asked me what that white stuff in my left eye was. I had noticed something in my eye as well, but thought it was just allergies. Eye was a little red, but not too bad, so off to bed.
Next morning, I awoke to a fully crusted, bloodshot eye. Yuk. Donna said "uh oh.....looks like pink eye". Gee, wonder where I might have picked that up? And by the way, looks like a cold sore was forming on the upper lip! Great.
I fought it all day Friday but by Saturday my other eye was getting red and excreting white junk as well. So we found a walk-in clinic to have it checked out. Well....Donna was right, conjunctivitis (pink eye), both eyes now. The Dr was concerned that I was on chemo so he ordered blood work to see if my white blood count was okay. Quick poke and draw and off to the lab. He came back and said all my counts were excellent (my blood pressure was elevated)so he could proceed with an antibiotic eye drop treatment. If my WBCs were elevated he said he would have to put me in the hospital. Thank goodness I didn't have to do that. Well the right eye was getting progressively worse (oh by the way, it was 109 degrees in Dallas everyday this week). I started the eye drops and have seen some slow improvements.
Leaving for Houston later today (Sunday) and get to cooler temperatures (high 90's...that's cooler?). What a week!! But, getting a new grandson makes it all better. Except I have been up since 230 this morning tending to my runny eyes.
I just wanted to add this to my journal so I didn't forget all the trials. This next session will be the last. I'll add to the Blog then. Its now 443 am Sunday...maybe I'll try to nap before I head to Houston....
Saturday, July 30, 2011
July 30, 2011 - Eleven down....one to go
Saturday night of Round 11. I can't believe I only have one more treatment to endure. What an experience. On Wednesday I went in for my appointment with Dr. Baltz (every other treatment). After a quick once over, I asked him how long I would have to keep the infusing port in my chest after my last treatment. He asked which number I was on and I said "today is number 11." He looked at my chart and asked "are you sure? I count only 9 done. You have this one and two more." I told him to count again...if there was ANYTHING I was more sure of it was how many of these treatments I had completed. He still only counted 9 but said it looked like Wendy had not recorded one. He went out of the exam room and came back to say "you were right, this will be number 11." Hallelujah! (I knew I was right. I said under my breath)
So I asked again how long I had to keep the port in since Wendy had said he usually liked to keep it in for about 3 months or more afterward. Which in my last post really bummed me out. BUT...he said, no, not in my case. "I told you you only had to do this for 6 mos. I do ask patients whom I suspect will have a recurrence. But not with you." After my last round, I will do one more lab work up and if my CBCs are up like always he said he would write the order for me to have the port removed. He then said "alright....I'll see you in three months!" I'll see him every 3 months for the next year or two (I think he said), then every 6 mos for the next couple years then if all is okay, he'll 'discharge' me!!!
So that was the greatest news. The neuropathy in my feet worsened over the past few weeks. No sensation in the toes anymore. It is very difficult and painful to walk. When travelling, walking through the airport between terminals takes extra effort. You don't realize how important your toes are until you cant feel them working for you!! I guess I am too proud or stubborn to ask for a ride on the people carts. Anyway, Dr. Baltz filled out the paper work for a temporary handicap placard for the car so I can park closer to shopping, etc. I told him I really appreciated it very much. Dr. Baltz is great guy.
I can finally see the light at the end of this long tunnel. And I am reasonably sure its not a train coming the other way. This has been an absolutely life changing event. I don't 'sweat the small stuff' anymore. Life is too short. I love my family more now, I guess I had taken them for granted over the years. But the spectre of dying sooner than I had expected made me realize how important they really are to me. Our younger son Scott is doing missionary work for our church up in Washington State. We did not tell him about the cancer or the treatments...didn't want him to worry. He'll probably be really mad when he comes home in December. I can't wait to see him.
My first grandchild will be born around the time of my last treatment (probably before, according to my daughter). People ask me if I am going to celebrate finishing my treatments....the Lord is giving me a great gift in this child. I am grateful to be alive to see this event and especially to see my son come home from his mission.
I have met some very remarkable individuals during this ordeal. Most, if not all, fighting a more difficult battle than mine. I was lucky. I hope the Dr made the right prognosis and this will be behind me. I won't forget those individuals that have just started this trial as I wrap up my own. I've learned that I need to take care of this old body of mine. Be kinder to it. Eat better. Get a check up regularly...head off anything that may pop up. And it will pop up. But at least now, if something happens in the future with my health, I know I have the courage to fight it and know I have to endure to the end.
Looking forward to Round 12 and done....
So I asked again how long I had to keep the port in since Wendy had said he usually liked to keep it in for about 3 months or more afterward. Which in my last post really bummed me out. BUT...he said, no, not in my case. "I told you you only had to do this for 6 mos. I do ask patients whom I suspect will have a recurrence. But not with you." After my last round, I will do one more lab work up and if my CBCs are up like always he said he would write the order for me to have the port removed. He then said "alright....I'll see you in three months!" I'll see him every 3 months for the next year or two (I think he said), then every 6 mos for the next couple years then if all is okay, he'll 'discharge' me!!!
So that was the greatest news. The neuropathy in my feet worsened over the past few weeks. No sensation in the toes anymore. It is very difficult and painful to walk. When travelling, walking through the airport between terminals takes extra effort. You don't realize how important your toes are until you cant feel them working for you!! I guess I am too proud or stubborn to ask for a ride on the people carts. Anyway, Dr. Baltz filled out the paper work for a temporary handicap placard for the car so I can park closer to shopping, etc. I told him I really appreciated it very much. Dr. Baltz is great guy.
I can finally see the light at the end of this long tunnel. And I am reasonably sure its not a train coming the other way. This has been an absolutely life changing event. I don't 'sweat the small stuff' anymore. Life is too short. I love my family more now, I guess I had taken them for granted over the years. But the spectre of dying sooner than I had expected made me realize how important they really are to me. Our younger son Scott is doing missionary work for our church up in Washington State. We did not tell him about the cancer or the treatments...didn't want him to worry. He'll probably be really mad when he comes home in December. I can't wait to see him.
My first grandchild will be born around the time of my last treatment (probably before, according to my daughter). People ask me if I am going to celebrate finishing my treatments....the Lord is giving me a great gift in this child. I am grateful to be alive to see this event and especially to see my son come home from his mission.
I have met some very remarkable individuals during this ordeal. Most, if not all, fighting a more difficult battle than mine. I was lucky. I hope the Dr made the right prognosis and this will be behind me. I won't forget those individuals that have just started this trial as I wrap up my own. I've learned that I need to take care of this old body of mine. Be kinder to it. Eat better. Get a check up regularly...head off anything that may pop up. And it will pop up. But at least now, if something happens in the future with my health, I know I have the courage to fight it and know I have to endure to the end.
Looking forward to Round 12 and done....
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