September 14, 2011 So long 'nubby'!

September 14, 2011 - Wednesday. Just a quick entry to the blog just because its a bit of a milestone for me. Fasting now, getting ready for the minor outpatient surgery in the morning to take out my 'nubby' (ala 'Friends' character Chandler and his third nipple....he called it his 'nubby'.) Anyway, I get the Porta-cath removed tomorrow. The last remnant (besides the neuropathy @#!)of my chemo.

It took 20 minutes to put it in, hopefully it will be quicker taking it out. I will be glad when I can take a shower and not see that lump in my chest! It has been a long road so far.

So, off to bed, up early, 'nubby' gone by 9 am! Tomorrow will be a great day.

September 9, 2011 Save the Date

Friday, September 9 - Wow! It's almost over. Got the call yesterday (actually, they called Donna's cell) from the surgical center scheduling me for the procedure to take the Porta-Cath out of my chest. Hoooray! It was Labor Day weekend last weekend and Monday was a holiday. I couldn't get my lab work done on Monday; lab was closed. So Tuesday, I was the first one through the doors at the lab. In and out in 15 minutes!! Wednesday....call Dr. Baltze's office to tell them I had the lab work done. They said they would look for it and write the surgical orders and give me a call. Takes me to Thursday and that call. Donna was leaving for her trip up the Interstate to Dallas to rescue Deanna (new Mom) and see our new little grandson, Mason. I was following her and all of sudden she pulls into the Shell gas station. Uh oh I thought. She's in the new car....what could be wrong? I pulled along side and she rolled down the window and said the surgical center called her and asked her when I wanted to get the procedure done. Thursday, 7:30 am....come fasting. Looking back it reminded me when I got the call from the 'other ' surgical center that I could come NOW for my prep work for my colon surgery. Seems like a lifetime ago. The neuropathy is really getting on my nerves!! Ha ha, a little chemo humor! But I've earned the right to use it. Really, it is getting old. As I sit here and try to type, my finger tips are on fire. Its hard to describe how it feels, its just....awful. Went to the grocery store tonight...my feet were killing me. Awful. It felt like boulders in the soles of my shoes...knives jabbing through my toes. Thank goodness for the handicap placard. I don't think I could have walked to the far end of the parking lot tonight. Neurontin at bedtime helps for most of the next day, but by mid-afternoon its gone and the pain begins. I hope this gets better like everyone says it will. But, despite these challenges I am committed to NOT let this get me down. I am grateful to be healthier now. Grateful for the little things in my life now (Mason included). Sad and glad day tomorrow as my oldest son and his wife are moving out into their own apartment. I know they are excited to get out again into their own life. Its been a challenge for my daughter-in-law living here. She is very excited. C'mon Thursday.....

September 3,2011 - One month post treatment

Saturday, September 3 - Well, coming up on one month post treatment! I can truly say I don't miss the bi-weekly trips to the clinic. Next Tuesday I will do my final lab work and then get the surgical order to remove the Porta-Cath from my chest. That will be a relief. The biggest hurdle now....neuropathy. I am sure any of you reading this that have either gone through this yourself or a family member or friend can relate. The chemo damages the nerves in your extremities (particularly hands and feet). It is extremely frustrating to walk and right now...type!! I had to go to a touch screen Blackberry because I couldn't use the keyboard to text because of the pain. It's funny as I type this blog, I am normally a very fast typer and I'll be flying along here and then look at the screen and say "what was I trying to say there???" My fingers get all messed up typing. The Doc says the feeling will eventually return, not 100%, but some of it. I can live with that if the treatments took care of the cancer. The pain is sometime unbearable in my feet and fingers. Doc made me get a handicap placard (blue, for 'permanent disability'). Very helpful, but rather humbling to park in the designated parking zone. I don't want to be 'permanently' disabled. I have a new grandson that makes all the chemo treatments worth it. I have a son coming home this December from 2 years of missionary service in Washington and that makes the chemo treatments worth it. It has been a terribly depressing 6 months but I have kept going. I have maintained as high a level of effort at my work as possible as I did not want to use this illness as an excuse to 'take it easy'. I battle it everyday. I think I'll make it. (After I typed that statement, I backspaced and was going to change it to 'know I'll make it', but changed it back. Because I don't 'know' if I can, but I know I will try.) I hope the neuropathy passes quickly. I am looking forward to living a nearly normal life for a while longer. Oh yeah...50 and over?? Get 'scoped!!